61 Lovely Facts About Valentine’s Day

Condom sales are typically higher around Valentine's Day
1. The condom company Durex reports that condom sales are 20-30% higher around Valentine’s Day.^b
2. In 2011, Iran banned Valentine cards, gifts, teddy bears, and other Valentine tokens as part of an Islamic republic backlash against the spread of Western culture. Additionally, some religious activists in India and Pakistan protest Valentine’s Day as a day of shame of lust. They view it as a Western holiday in which Westerners satisfy their “sex thirst.”^d,f
3. On Valentine’s Day 2000, the producer of Viagra, Pfizer, funded an impotence awareness day in Britain.^o
4. Red hearts are a ubiquitous Valentine symbol. Red is traditionally associated with the color of blood. At one time, people thought that the heart, which pumps blood, was the part of the body that felt love. In fact, when the Egyptians mummified their dead for burial, they removed every organ but the heart because they believed the heart was the only part of the body necessary for the trip through eternity.^j
5. Groundhog Day was originally observed on February 14.^l
6. The popular medieval folk belief that birds choose their mates on February 14 made doves a favorite symbol for Valentine cards. The dove was sacred to Venus and other love deities and was known for choosing a lifelong mate.^a
7. Valentine’s Day was first introduced to Japan in 1936 and has become widely popular. However, because of a translation error made by a chocolate company, only women buy Valentine chocolates for their spouses, boyfriends, or friends. In fact, it is the only day of the year many single women will reveal their crush on a man by giving him chocolate. The men don’t return the favor until White Day, a type of “answer day” to Valentine’s Day, which is on March 14.^g
8. Valentine candy “conversation hearts” have a shelf life of five years.^c
9. Valentine’s Day is a $14.7 billion industry in the U.S.^l
10. Nearly 10 new candy “conversation heart” sayings are introduced each year. Recent additions have included “Yeah Right,” “Puppy Love,” and “Call Home.”^l
The rose has historically been a symbol of love
11. On Valentine’s Day, nearly 189 million stems of roses are sold in the U.S.ⁿ
12. Americans spend around $277 million on Valentine cards every year, second only to Christmas.^l
13. Approximately one billion Valentine cards are sent each year around the world. An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent during the Christmas holidays.^l
14. On Valentine’s Day 2010, 39,897 people in Mexico City broke the record for the world’s largest group kiss.^m
15. Started by a group of feminists, “Quirkyalone Day” is celebrated on February 14 as an alternative to Valentine’s Day. It is geared toward people who “resist the tyranny of coupledom.” Another alternate Valentine’s Day celebration is SAD (Single Awareness Day), which reminds people that they don’t need to be in a relationship to celebrate life.ⁱ
16. The symbol of the ribbon, which often adorns modern-day Valentines, is rooted in the Middle Ages. When knights competed in tournaments, their sweethearts often gave them ribbons for good luck.^c
17. Lace is often used on Valentine decorations. The word “lace” comes from the Latin laques, meaning “to snare or net,” as in to catch a person’s heart.^c
18. The ancient Roman festival Lupercalia (“festival of the wolf”) is considered to be one precursor to Valentine’s Day. Celebrated from February 13-15, it was a purification and fertility ceremony. Reminiscent of the modern-day exchange of love notes on Valentine’s Day, boys would draw a girl’s name from a box on the eve of the festival and then escort her to the festival the next day—or, some scholars say, she would be his sexual partner for the next year.^l
19. During the ancient Roman festival Lupercalia (an ancient precursor to Valentine’s Day), two boys would run through crowds of people swinging strings made from goatskins. If the strings touched a girl, it was divined that she would have healthy children when she grew up. The goatskins were called februa, which means to make clean and from which “February” derives.^l
20. A True Love Knot, or Endless Knot of Love, was a very popular Valentine in England and the U.S. in the seventeenth century. As their name implies, these Valentines were drawn as a knot and could be read from any line and still make sense.^c
21. Some of the oldest handmade Valentines are rebuses, which is Latin for “things” or “that which is indicated by things.” A rebus is a kind of puzzle or riddle, and the pictures indicate the meaning of the card. For example, a picture of a bee and a picture of gold mine would indicate the sentiment “Be mine.”^c
22. Small pieces of mirror were sometimes used on the more expensive and elaborate valentine cards produced during the golden ages of Valentines (1830s-1850s). “Mirror” comes from the same Latin verb as “admire”: mirari, “to wonder.”^c
23. Pope Gelasius established Valentine’s Day in A.D. 500 in an attempt to appropriate the ancient pagan Roman fertility festival, Lupercalia, into Christianity.^j
24. There is no one accepted explanation for the connection between St. Valentine and love. Etymologists report that the letters “v” and “g” were once interchangeable in common speech. The Norman word galantin, meaning a “lover of women,” was at one time both written and pronounced valanta or valentin, from which “Valentine” could have been derived.^c
25. Throughout history, there have been approximately eight St. Valentines. Three of them had special feast days in their honor. The two St. Valentines who most likely inspired Valentine's Day are Valentine of Terni and Valentine of Rome, though some scholars speculate they are actually one person.^l
26. Valentine’s Day may have been named after Valentine of Terni, a priest who married Roman soldiers against orders from Claudius II. He was arrested and killed on February 14 in the year  269. It is said that an almond tree near his grave burst with pink flowers and all the birds chose mates, hence the term “love birds.”^j
27. Valentine’s Day may have been named after the priest Valentine of Rome, who refused to follow Claudius II’s ban on Christianity. While he was imprisoned, children would pass him notes through the jail window. Before he was killed on February 14, he wrote one last note to the jailer’s daughter with whom he had fallen in love and signed it “From Your Valentine.”^j
28. According to Welsh tradition, a child born on Valentine’s Day would have many lovers. A calf born on Valentine’s Day, however, would be of no use for breeding purposes. If hens were to hatch eggs on Valentine’s Day, they would all turn out rotten.^l
29. Famous people born on Valentine’s Day include John Barrymore (1882), Jimmy Hoffa (1913), Jack Benny (1894), Carl Bernstein (1944), Renée Fleming (1959), and Florence Henderson (1934).^e
30. On Valentine’s Day, James Cook was kill by natives in Hawaii (1779), Oregon and Arizona were admitted to the Union (1859 and 1912, respectively), James Polk became the first president photographed while in office (1848), UPS (United Parcel Service) was formed (1919), the League of Women Voters was established (1920), Aretha Franklin recorded “Respect” (1967), Richard Nixon installed a secret taping system in the White House (1971), the U.S. performed a nuclear test at the Nevada Test Site (1976), and Voyager I took a picture of the entire solar system (1990).^e
Teachers receive the most Valentine's Day cards
31. Teachers receive the most Valentine’s cards, followed by children, mothers, and wives. Children between the ages of 6-10 exchange more than 650 million Valentine cards a year.^l
32. The most popular flower on Valentine’s Day is a single red rose surrounded with baby’s breath. The red rose was the flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love.ⁿ
33. The saying “wearing your heart on your sleeve” is from the Middle Ages. Boys at this time would draw names of girls to see who would be their “Valentine” and then wear the name pinned on their sleeve for a week.^a
34. Richard Cadbury produced the first box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day in the late 1800s.^l
35. A kiss on Valentine’s Day is considered to bring good luck all year.^a
36. Shakespeare mentions Valentine’s Day in A Midsummer Night’s Dream and in Hamlet.^a
37. Madame Royale, daughter of Henry the IV of France, loved Valentine’s Day so much that she named her palace “The Valentine.”^c
38. During the 1700s in England, a girl would pin four bay leaves to her pillow and eat a hard-boiled egg, including the shell, on the eve of St. Valentine’s Day. Supposedly, if she dreamed of a boy that night, she would soon marry him. Girls would also write boys’ names on small pieces of paper, cover them with clay, and drop them into the water. When the clay broke, the papers floated to the top. The first name the girls could read would predict whom they would marry.^a
39. British children in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries would celebrate Valentine’s Day by going door-to-door singing songs and sometimes begging for cake or money.^a
40. Both garters and gloves are traditionally popular Valentine tokens. The word “garter” comes from the Old French word garet, meaning “bend in the knee.” And “glove” is derived from the Old English word glof, meaning “palm of the hand.”^c
41. On Valentine’s Day, many people buy flowers. Different colored roses have different meanings. Red means love, yellow means friendship, and pink means friendship or sweetheart. Red carnations mean admiration, white carnations mean pure love, red chrysanthemums mean love, forget-me-nots mean true love, primrose means young love, and larkspur means an open heart.^l
42. Traditionally, young girls in the U.S. and the U.K. believed they could tell what type of man they would marry depending on the type of bird they saw first on Valentine’s Day. If they saw a blackbird, they would marry a clergyman, a robin redbreast indicated a sailor, and a goldfinch indicated a rich man. A sparrow meant they would marry a farmer, a blue bird indicated a happy man, and a crossbill meant an argumentative man. If they saw a dove, they would marry a good man, but seeing a woodpecker meant they would not marry at all.^l
43. The first recorded Valentine was sent February 1415 by the English duke of Orleans. He sent of love letter to his wife from his jail cell in the Tower of London after the Battle of Agincourt. It is currently on display in the British Museum.^c
44. Commercially, Valentine cards didn’t appear in England until almost the 1800s, though handmade cards had been popular for some time.^j
45. In 1653, English puritanical leader Oliver Cromwell became Lord Protector of the Realm and, subsequently banned St. Valentine’s Day customs. Valentine’s Day wasn’t observed again until Stuart King Charles II was restored to the English throne in 1660.^l
46. In 2010, 25% of adults bought flowers or plants as a Valentine’s gift. Of these, 60% were men and 40% were women. Men mainly bought flowers for romantic reasons, while women bought flowers for their mothers and friends as well as their sweethearts.ⁿ
47. The first American Valentine was produced in 1834 by New York engraver Robert Elton.^g
48. In 2005, a U.S. man was charged with using an Internet chat room to organize a mass suicide on Valentine’s Day.^h
49. The first European post boxes appeared in Paris in the late eighteenth century, which revolutionized the way Valentine cards were produced and delivered.^g
Loveland, CO offers a special Valentine's Day stamp cancellation
50. Each year 300,000 letters go through Loveland, Colorado, to get a special heart stamp cancellation for Valentine’s Day.^c
51. There is a town in Texas called Valentine, but for not for romantic reason. The first train to arrive there happened to do so on February 14.^c
52. To abolish the pagan custom of the “Valentine” lottery in which boys would draw the names of girls and then pay special attention to them during the holiday, Christian leaders urged boys to substituted saint’s names on the tickets. This may have led to the later nineteenth-century habit of calling them Valentines after one of the prominent martyred saints. The move was not very popular and did not last long.^c
53. In Germany, girls would plant onions in a pot on Valentine’s Day, and next to the onions, they placed the name of a boy. They believed they would marry the boy whose name was nearest the first onion to grow.^l
54. Esther Howland (1828-1904) was the first person to create Valentines to sell in the United States. She first patented a lacy Valentine in 1844—and by 1860, her factory was selling thousands of valentines, earning over $100,000.^c
55. Saint Valentine is the patron saint of lovers and engaged couples. He is also the patron sating of epilepsy (which he is said to have suffered), plague, greetings, travelers, young people, and bee keepers.^a
56. A common symbol of Valentine’s Day is Cupid (“desire”), the Roman god of love. The son of Venus and Mars, he was originally depicted as a young man who would sharpen his arrows on a grindstone whetted with blood from an infant, though now he is commonly presented as a pudgy baby. This transformation occurred during the Victorian era when business owners wanted to promote Valentine’s Day as more suitable for women and children.^l
57. Over 100 years ago, the Chicago post office refused to deliver about 25,000 Valentine postcards because their messages were not nice. The caustic cards were called “vinegar Valentines.”^c
58. “Valentine Writers” were booklets written in1823 by Peter Quizumall to help those who couldn’t think up Valentine verses on their own.^c
59. The first recorded association of Valentine’s Day with romantic love occurs in Chaucer’s “Parlement of Foules.” Chaucer writes (in modern translation): “For this was on Saint Valentine’s day/When every bird comes there to choose his mate.” However, Chaucer may have been referring to Valentine of Genoa, whose saint’s day was May 2, a more likely time for birds to be mating than February 14.^k
60. “The High Court of Love” was established in Paris, France, in 1400 and is the first known official celebration of Saint Valentine’s Day. Composed of 30 women, it dealt with love contracts, violence against women, and betrayals.^a
61. In 1969, St.Valentine’s Day was removed from the Roman Calendar of Saints by Pope Paul VI, though its religious observance is still allowed.^l

-- Posted January 23, 2011

References
^a Aveni, Anthony. 2003. The Book of the Year: A Brief History of Our Seasonal Holidays. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
^b “Condom Sales Rise Ahead of V-Day.” ThaiIndianNews. February 9, 2010. Accessed: January 19, 2011.
^c Graham-Barber, Lynda. 1991. Mushy! The Complete Book of Valentine Words. New York, NY: Bradbury Press.
^d “Hindu and Muslim Anger at Valentine’s.” BBC News. February 11, 2003. Accessed: January 8, 2011.
^e “Historical Events on February 14.” His-Dates.com. 2010. Accessed: January 9, 2011.
^f “Iran Snubs Valentine’s Day.” The Washington Post. January 2, 2011. Accessed: January 8, 2011.
^g Linder, Melanie. “Valentine’s Day around the World.” Forbes. February 11, 2009. Accessed: January 8, 2011.
^h “Man Set Valentine Suicide Pact.” BBC News. February 12, 2005. Accessed: January 8, 2011.
ⁱ McKay, Mary Jayne. “Alone? Celebrate Anyway.” CBS News. February 13, 2003. Accessed: January 5, 2011.
^j Rau, Dana Meachen. 2001. Valentine’s Day. New York, NY: Scholastic Inc.
^k Sullivan, Meg. “Henry Ansgar Kelly, Valentine’s Day.” UCLA Spotlight. February 1, 2001.
^l Thompson, Sue Ellen. 2000 (2nd Ed.). Holiday Symbols. Detroit, MI: Omnigraphics, Inc.
^m “World Record Valentine’s Day Kiss.” World Breaking Record. January 2010. Accessed: January 8, 2011.
ⁿ “Valentine’s Day Floral Statistics.” Aboutflowers.com. 2010. Accessed: January 8, 2011.
^o Yamey, Gavin. “Pfizer to Sponsor European Impotence Awareness Day.” BMJ. March 2000. Accessed: January 19, 2011.

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77 Interesting Facts About Weddings

1. In the United States, there is no law or religious dictate that says the bride must take the groom’s last name. However, approximately 70% of Americans agree that a bride should change her last name.^b
2. The Fijians believe that the god Nangganangga, who watches over married couples, will not let a bachelor enter Fijian paradise and will turn him to ash if he dies before he is married.^d
3. The Penan nomads who live on the island Borneo (southwest of the Philippines) maintain that women do not have a soul until their wedding day.^d
4. In States where no blood tests or physical exams are required, failing to tell your prospective spouse that you have a venereal disease or a physical impairment (such as impotence or infertility) can void the marriage.^k
5. Early Roman brides carried a bunch of herbs, such as garlic and rosemary, under their veils to symbolize fidelity and fertility and to ward off evil. These herbs served as a precursor to the modern bridal bouquet.^c
6. The phrase “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe” symbolizes continuity, optimism for the future, borrowed happiness, fidelity, and wealth or good luck, respectively.^c
7. Because white is the color of mourning in Eastern cultures, white wedding dresses are uncommon.^c
8. Las Vegas is the top wedding destination with over 100,000 weddings a year, followed by Hawaii at 25,000 weddings a year.^h

The tradition of the “ring finger” is based on an erroneous historical belief in a “vein of love”

9. Wedding rings are often placed on the third finger of the left hand because ancient Egyptians believed the vein in that hand (which the Romans called the “vein of love”) ran directly to the heart.^c
10. The bride’s veil traditionally symbolized her youth and virginity. Veils also hid the bride from jealous spirits or the Evil Eye. In the past, veils could be red, blue or yellow (the color of Hymen, the Greek god of marriage). The modern white veil became popular during the Victorian era as a symbol of purity and modesty. A white veil also connoted that a bride was wealthy enough to wear white.^c
11. In many cultures, the groom historically often kidnapped the bride, and the groom’s friends would help him, leading to the modern-day groomsmen. At the alter, the groom always stood on the bride’s right side so his right hand—or his sword hand—would be free to fight/defend a jealous rival.^c
12. Flower girls traditionally threw flower petals in the bride’s path to lead her to a sweet, plentiful future.^c
13. Nearly all cultures have showered the wedding couple with symbolic food. For example, the French throw wheat, Sicilians throw wheat bread and salt, and the English throw pieces of cake. Early Romans or Greeks threw nuts, dates, and seed-bearing plants. Bulgarians have thrown figs.^f
14. Throwing rice at weddings symbolizes fertility, prosperity, and bounty. In some countries, the bride might even carry or wear sheaves of grain. However, many modern churches and wedding locations discourage rice throwing because rice can be fatal for birds who eat it.^c
15. Guests in ancient times would tear off part of the bride’s gown as tokens of good luck, leading to the tradition of the bride throwing both her garter and her bouquet.^c
16. A wedding cake is traditionally a symbol of good luck and fertility and has been a part of wedding celebrations since Roman times, when a small bun, symbolizing fertility, was broken above the bride’s head at the close of the ceremony. During the Middle Ages, custom required the bride and groom to kiss over small cakes.^c
17. The phrase “tying the knot” initially came from an ancient Babylonian custom in which threads from the clothes of both the bride and bridegroom were tied in a knot to symbolize the couple’s union. Literally tying some type of ceremonial knot at a wedding ceremony can be found across cultures.^c
18. In some African ceremonies, it was a sentiment of well wishing to greet the new bride with the words: “May you bear 12 children with him.”^c
19. A bride is traditionally carried over the threshold either to symbolize her reluctance to leave her father’s home or because evil spirits hovered over the threshold of a house—so she was lifted over the entrance to protect her from the spirits.^c

Pope Innocent III’s creation of an “engagement” period led to separate engagement and wedding rings

20. Pope Innocent III (1160/1-1216) declared that a waiting period should be observed between betrothal and marriage, which led to separate engagement and wedding rings. The first recorded account of a diamond engagement ring was in 1477 when King Maximilian I of Germany (1459-1519) proposed to Mary of Burgundy (1457-1482) and offered her a diamond to seal his vow.^c
21. During Biblical times, shoes were seen as a badge of authority because they lifted a person off the ground, differentiating them from barefoot slaves and serfs. They were used to seal a bargain and fathers would give his son-in-law a pair on the wedding day as symbol of transferring authority.^k
22. In Great Britain, it was considered good luck for the bride to kiss a chimney sweep on her wedding day. He supposedly had special powers, and when he cleans the chimney, he also sweeps away evil spirits.^k
23. A morganatic marriage is a union of a person of royal blood with one of inferior rank. Such a marriage is called a “left-hand marriage” because at the wedding ceremony, the husband holds the bride’s hand with his right hand with his left hand. Though these marriages are recognized by the church, the father cannot confer on their children his rank or property.^d
24. In Afghanistan, a man who wanted to marry a woman would cut off a lock of her hair or throw a sheet over her and proclaim her his bride.^f
25. The Ozark people located in central America believed placing the dried tongue of a turtle dove in a loved one’s house would persuade him or her to marry.^f
26. Bedouin girls will often begin to sew their wedding dresses when they turn nine years old and so that they will finish their gown before they marry at the age of fourteen or fifteen.^a
27. All over the world, there is a long tradition of mock battles to keep the groom away from the bride on their wedding day. For example, in Thailand, a groom often will find the entrance of the bride’s house roped off until he offers money to get through. In some nomadic tribes in Central Asia, a groom and his party would pursue his bride on horseback—as she was riding away carrying a newly slaughtered lamb.^f
28. Puritans banned wedding rings because they thought they were “frivolous” jewelry or relics of Popery.ⁱ
29. In many countries, a yellow wedding dress has traditionally been seen as a sign of a wife’s intention to cheat on her husband or of jealousy.ⁱ

The act of the bride and groom sharing symbolic wedding cake goes back to ancient times

30. Much like the modern tradition of feeding wedding cake to one’s spouse, in ancient Rome, couples pledged their unity by sharing food. Today a Japanese bride and groom drink sake together, Jewish couples drink from the same cup of consecrated wine, and Muslim couples eat from the same piece of candy.^f
31. Greek brides believed that tucking a lump of sugar into the wedding gown would bring sweetness throughout married life.ⁱ
32. To ensure fertility, the Irish would take a hen that was about to lay an egg and tie it to the wedding bed.^f
33. Because ducks mate for life, a Korean groom will ask a happily married friend to make him two small wooden ducks for his new household.^f
34. Oriental wedding dresses often display embroidered cranes, which are symbols of life-long fidelity. At Japanese weddings, the presence of 1001 white paper origami cranes is considered good luck.^f
35. In Egypt, women will pinch the bride to bring good luck to those who pinched her.^f
36. In India, it is considered a form of protection and luck to be symbolically married to a tree.^f
37. In present-day Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Pakistan, a girl who loses her virginity before marriage may be punished or murdered along with her lover by the males of her own family.^f
38. Some tribes in central Asia held that a bride’s hymen should be broken not by her husband, but by her maternal grandfather. If he was not willing or alive, a cousin from her mother’s side was responsible to perform the task.^d
39. Eskimos would bring their brides to a priest for divine unflowering.^d
40. In Europe during the Middle Ages, the lord of the manor had a legal right to spend the first night with any non-noble bride on his land (“le droit du seigneur” or “right of the lord”).^d

The average number of wedding guests is 175

41. An average wedding in the United States has 175 guests.^k
42. After a Jewish wedding, the groom stomps on a glass which is wrapped in a cloth while people clap and shout congratulations (“Mazel tov!”). The broken glass symbolizes the frailty of human happiness or perhaps the destruction of the Israelite temple in A.D. 70. Some Jewish husbands argue that it means they will have the authority in the house or that shattered glass symbolizes the easing of sexual penetration on the first night of marriage.^d
43. In Jewish weddings, if the bride is the last marriageable daughter in her family, her mother is crowned with a wreath of leaves (a krenzel) and family and friends dance around her.^f
44. In Siberia, it is believed that it is a sin to remain single and that the soul of a bachelor becomes a dzheretinnik (heretic) that remains on the earth to scare the living.^d
45. In Ethiopia, women from certain tribes place plates in their lower lip in order to entice a rich groom. The larger the protruding lip, the more a groom will pay.^f
46. In many societies, families save money to cover wedding expenses the same way Americans save money to cover a child’s college education. Many parents start saving money as soon as a daughter is born.^e
47. In many Muslim countries and parts of Greece, the groom is expected to show the virginal blood on the sheets the morning after the wedding. The couple’s family is waiting outside to ensure the bride was a virgin and the husband was virile.^a
48. Some scholars claim the word “honeymoon” comes from the Teutonic custom when newlyweds would hide out and drink hydromel (a fermented honey and water mixture) for 30 days until the moon waned.
49. Green is typically not worn at Scottish weddings because it is the color of fairies and an omen of revenge. It is considered unlucky to even eat green vegetables at a wedding.ⁱ
50. The busiest wedding days in the United States, in order of popularity, are Saturday afternoon, Saturday morning, Friday evening, and Sunday afternoon. A late afternoon or early evening wedding is generally more expensive than an earlier wedding.^h
51. In the U.S., Fireman’s Fund Insurance Company offers wedding insurance, which can cover any retaking of photographs, wedding attire or wedding gift replacements, and public liability.^h
52. More than 40% of couples now plan their weddings together, and three out of four grooms help select items for their wedding gift registries.^h
53. Seventy-five percent of engaged couples in the United States pay for some or all of their own wedding.^h
54. In Mediterranean countries, Jordan almonds are given to guests at a wedding to represent the bitter and the sweet sides of marriage.ⁱ
55. The top 10 “First Dance” songs in the U.S. include “The Way You Look Tonight,” “Just the Way You Are,” “Come Away with Me,” Unforgettable,” “Wonderful Tonight,” “From This Moment On,” “This I Promise You,” “Thank You For Loving Me,” “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” and “All I Ask of You.”^h

The tradition of arranged marriages led to the belief that a groom should not see the bride before a wedding

56. The superstition that the bridegroom must not see his bride before the wedding stems from the days when marriages were arranged and the groom might never have seen the bride. There was the chance that if he saw her, he might bolt. Other sources say that to see the bride in her dress is peering into the future, which can bring bad luck.^f
57. In Tibet, polyandry, or a woman with more than one husband, is not uncommon. For example, a herdsman will share his wife with his brothers and half-brothers.^d
58. Queen Victoria’s wedding cake was three yards wide and weighed 300 pounds.^k
59. Queen Elizabeth II had 12 wedding cakes. The one she cut at her wedding was nine feet tall and weighed 500 pounds.^k
60. In America, T.V. soap opera weddings attract more viewers than a presidential address.^h
61. Wedding bells are an important symbol of a wedding. Traditionally, it was believed that demons were scared off by loud sounds, so following a wedding ceremony, anything that could make noise was used to create a diversion.ⁱ
62. In several countries, including Germany and Greece, the bride attempts to cover her new husband’s foot while dancing in order to establish dominance.ⁱ
63. A double wedding is traditionally considered bad luck because it’s too much happiness for evil demons to overlook.^f
64. In Bali, a bride holds a cloth in front of the groom, who strikes it through with a dagger, in a display of obvious symbolism.^a
65. A wedding between two American slaves could not include the words “until death do us part” because plantation masters had the power to part husband and wives. Because slaves were not allowed to have a Christian ceremony, they invented their own ceremonies that often included the bride and groom jumping over a broom, the broom being the symbol of home in certain parts of Africa.^h
66. During a Javanese wedding celebration, the couple takes three rolled-up betel leaves each and throws them at one another for good luck.^f
67. The bachelor or stag party supposedly started in fifth-century Sparta where military compatriots would feast and toast one another on the eve of a wedding, like warriors going to battle.^e
68. “Matrimony” is from the Latin matrimonium, from matrem (“mother”) + monium (“action, state, condition”).^g
69. Before the 1500s, couples in Europe were free to marry themselves. It wasn’t until 1564 when the Council of Trent declared marriage was a sacrament that weddings became the province of priests and churches.^f
70. Over 74% of first-time brides receive a diamond engagement ring, with the diamond (first discovered in India over 2,000 years ago) symbolizing pure and eternal love. The Greeks thought diamonds (adamas) were tears of the gods, and the Romans thought diamas or diamonds were splinters from heavenly stars.^h

In the United States, nearly $72 billion is spent annually on weddings

71. In the United States, June is the most popular month for weddings, followed by August.^h
72. Nearly $72 billion is spent on weddings every year in the United States.^h
73. Before the church declared marriage a sacrament, couples often sought sacred places in nature to wed, such as a hilltop or cliff, where the earth supposedly meets heaven.^h
74. In England, before literacy rates were high, invitations to weddings were shouted out by “bidders,” who were old men hired to announced the details of the wedding.^f
75. “Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride” dates to about the sixteenth century. It was believed that if young maiden who had been a bridesmaid three times was unable to catch the eye of unmarried males, then she never would. But, if she served seven times as a bridesmaid, the spell was broken and the woman was thought to be a sure bet for marriage.^f
76. Because eyebrows are considered intensely alluring in the Orient, historically the bride’s eyebrows were shaved entirely, rendering her powerless to attract a man.^a
77. The Old English word for the wedding cereomony was bridelope, which literally met “bridal run.” The word “wed” derives from the Proto-IndoEuropean base wadh, meaning to pledge or redeem.^j

-- Posted December 23, 2009

References
^a Baldizzone, Tiziana and Gianna Baldizzone. 2001. Wedding Ceremonies: Ethnic Symbols, Costume, and Rituals. France: Flammarion.
^b Bermann, Jillian. “70% Say Brides Should Take Husband’s Name.” USATODAY.com. August 11, 2009. Accessed: November 29, 2009.
^c Bride’s Book of Etiquette. 2002. New York, NY: Perigee Books.
^d de Lys, Claudia. 1929. How the World Weds. New York, NY: The Martin Press.
^e Geller, Jaclyn. 2001. Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique. New York, NY: Four Walls Eight Windows.
^f Lee, Vera. 1994. Something Old, Something New: What You Didn’t Know about Wedding Ceremonies, Celebrations, and Customs. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, Inc.
^g “Matrimony.” Online Etymological Dictionary. Accessed: November 30, 2009.
^h Post, Peggy. 2006. Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
ⁱ Stewart, Arlene Hamilton. 1995. A Bride’s Book of Wedding Traditions. New York, NY: William Morrow and Co.
^j “Wed.” Online Etymological Dictionary. Accessed: December 23, 2009.
^k Weiss, Mindy and Lisbeth Levine. 2008.The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day. New York, NY: Workman Publishing.

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52 Fascinating Facts About Love

1. Historically, sweat has been an active ingredient in perfume and love potions.^g
2. In Bali, men believed a woman would fall in love if her suitor fed her a certain kind of leaf incised with the image of a god who sported a very large penis.^e
3. The Mexican chief Montezuma considered chocolate a “love drug” and drank 50 cups of chocolate a day before visiting his harem of 600 women.^a
4. Scientists suggest that most people will fall in love approximately seven times before marriage.^h
5. Some individuals who claim never to have felt romantic love suffer from hypopituitarism, a rare disease that doesn’t allow a person to feel the rapture of love.^e
6. Getting dumped often leads to “frustration attraction,” which causes an individual to love the one who dumped him or her even more.^f

Love is derived from the Sanskrit lubh, which means desire

7. The term “love” is from the Sanskrit lubhyati, meaning “desire.”ⁱ
8. “Love” in the sense of “no score” in tennis dates to 1792 and means “playing for love” or, in other words, playing for nothing.ⁱ Other scholars claim that "love" as a tennis score is a corruption of the French word for egg, "L'oeuf," because of the egg's resemblance to a zero.^m
9. Engagement rings are often worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because the ancient Greeks maintained that that finger contains the vena amoris, or the “vein of love,” that runs straight to the heart. The first recorded wedding rings appear in ancient Egypt, with the circle representing eternity as well as powerful sun and moon deities.^l
10. Seminal fluid can potentially contribute to romantic love. Reports suggest that the liquid that surrounds the sperm contains dopamine (“the pleasure chemical”) and norepinephrine as well as tyrosine, an amino acid the brain needs to manufacture dopamine.^g
11. The enduring symbol of love, Cupid (or Eros) is said to have come from Chaos (“The Yawning Void”) and represents the primitive forces of love and desire.ⁿ
12. The word “lesbian” is derived from the Greek island Lesbos, where the poetess Sappho composed her famous poems to her famous female lovers.^l
13. Roses are a traditional symbol of love and, depending on their color, can suggest different nuances of love.ⁿ For example, red roses indicate passion and true love. Light pink suggests desire, passion, and energy; dark pink suggests gratitude. Yellow roses can mean friendship or jealousy. A lavender or thornless rose can mean love at first sight. White roses mean virtue or devotion. Some roses even combine colors to created more complicated meanings.^k
14. European males subconsciously seek out women whose waist circumference is about 70%t of their hips. Beauty icons such as Audrey Hepburn, Venus de Milo, and even Twiggy had a waist ratio of exactly 70%.^e
15. When a person falls in love, the ventral tegmental area in the brain floods the caudate nucleus with dopamine. The caudate then signals for more dopamine; the more dopamine, the higher a person feels. The same system becomes activated when someone takes cocaine.^g
16. When someone looks at a new love, the neural circuits that are usually associated with social judgment are suppressed.^e

The apple has historically been the ultimate symbol of love and sexual desire

17. Since ancient Greece, the apple has been a symbol of love. The Celts believed that the apple represented love because it lasted so long after being picked.ⁿ
18. A study of college students who had just been rejected by their sweethearts showed they had strong activity in the brain associated with the insular cortex, the part of the brain that experiences physical pain.^e
19. Antidepressants may compromise romantic love because they enhance serotonin levels. Higher serotonin levels blunt emotions and inhibit obsessive thoughts about the lover, both crucial components of love.^g
20. A four-leaf clover is often considered good luck, but it is also part of an Irish love ritual. In some parts of Ireland, if a woman eats a four-leaf clover while thinking about a man, supposedly he will fall in love with her.ⁿ
21. Some psychologists argue that we fall in love with someone who is similar to the parent with whom we have unresolved childhood issues, unaware we are seeking to resolve this childhood relationship in adulthood.^f
22. Studies show that if a man meets a woman in a dangerous situation (and vice versa), such as on a trembling bridge, he is more likely to fall in love with her than if he met her in a more mundane setting, such as in an office.^g
23. Mystery or “the chase” is often a critical element in romantic love. Sometimes called the “Romeo and Juliet effect,” a situation with challenges or obstructions is likely to intensify one’s passion for a loved one.^g
24. Scientists suggest that the advent of cooking led to healthier food which, in turn, led to bigger brains and an increased capacity to woo potential lovers with new forms of linguistic and artistic seductive flairs.^g

Men and women are subconsciously attracted to those with a symmetrical face

25. Men and women with highly symmetrical faces tend to have more lovers to choose from. Additionally, men with symmetrical faces begin to have sex four years earlier, have more sex, and have more affairs than their lopsided peers. Women also tend to have more orgasms with symmetrical men.^c
26. Timing significantly influences love. Individuals are more likely to fall in love if they are looking for adventure, craving to leave home, lonely, displaced in a foreign country, passing into a new stage of life, or financially and psychologically ready to share themselves or start a family.^e
27. Women around the world are more likely to fall in love with partners with ambition, education, wealth, respect, status, a sense of humor, and who are taller than they are. Women also prefer distinctive cheekbones and a strong jawbone, which are linked to testosterone levels. During ovulation, women become even more interested in men with signs of testosterone.^g
28. Men in love show more activity in the visual part of the brain, while women in love show more activity in the part of the brain that governs memory. Scientists speculate that men have to size up a woman visually to see if she can bear babies, while women have to remember aspects of man’s behavior to determine if he would be an adequate provider.^d
29. It is estimated that 40–70% of female homicides are committed by their lovers and spouses.^b
30. In one of many polls on the subject, 60% of married American men say they’ve been unfaithful, compared to 40% of American women.^b
31. The maple leaf is a symbol of love in China and Japan—and in North America, it was often engraved on beds of early settlers to promote peaceful sleep and pleasure.ⁿ
32. Plato asserts in his Symposium that initially all humans were whole, hermaphroditic beings with four hands, four legs, two identical faces on one head/neck, four ears, and both sets of genitals. When these beautiful, strong beings tried to overthrow the gods, Zeus split them into two—man and woman— and created the innate desire of human beings for one another to feel whole again.^a
33. Scientists suggest that merely staring into another person’s eyes is a strong precursor to love. In an experiment, strangers of the opposite sex were put in a room together for 90 minutes where they talked about intimate details and then stared into each other’s eyes without talking. Many felt a deep attraction for each other, and two married each other six months later.^e
34. The urge to fall in love is, like sex and hunger, a primitive, biological drive.^f

Love and lust activate different areas of the brain

35. Brains in love and brains in lust are not identical. Erotic photos activate the hypothalamus (which controls hunger and thirst) and the amygada (arousal) areas of the brain. Love activates areas of the brain with a high concentration of receptors for dopamine (associated with euphoria, craving, and addiction) and its relative, norepinephrine.^d
36. Many cultures use knots as symbols of an eternal love that has neither a beginning nor an end. Young Muslim women would send love messages to their lovers using intricate knots.ⁿ
37. The longer and more deliberate a courtship, the better the prospects for a long marriage. People who have intense, Hollywood-type romances at the beginning are more likely to divorce.^h
38. New research suggests that passionate love does not always decline over time. In addition to exhibiting intense activity in the ventral tegmental area of the brain similar to those in the early stages of love, brain scans also show activity in the ventral pallidum, a region associated with feelings of long-term attachment, and in the raphe nucleus, which is responsible for higher serotonin levels, which lead to calmness and less obsession.^d
39. Love is not necessarily a guarantee that a marriage will last. Other factors include a couple’s age (a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife or who marries before the age of 24 is more likely to divorce), those who are in their second or third marriage, those who had a child before marriage, and finances. Factors not pertinent to success of marriage are the number of children or their ages, the wife’s employment status, and the number of years a wife has been employed.^j
40. Romantic love lasts just over a year, perhaps because the brain cannot eternally maintain a revved-up state of romantic bliss. As romantic love wanes, attachment love, a more stable love, sets in. To keep the passion alive, experts suggest doing satisfying and exciting activities as a couple.^g
41. High levels of testosterone may suppress oxytocin and vasopressin (chemicals associated with attachment love), which may explain why men with higher testosterone levels tend to marry less often, be more abusive in their marriage, and divorce more. When a man holds a baby, his testosterone goes down, perhaps as a result of increased oxytocin and vasopressin.^c

Men and women are biologically wired to express love in different ways

42. Women often feel loved when talking face to face with their partner; men, on the other hand, often feel emotionally close when they work, play, or talk side by side.^g
43. To remain in love for a lifetime, therapists advise couples to listen actively to your partner, ask questions, give answers, appreciate, stay attractive, grow intellectually, include your partner, give him/her privacy, be honest and trustworthy, tell your mate what you need, accept his/her shortcomings, give respect, never threaten to leave, say “no” to adultery, don’t assume the relationship will last forever, and cultivate variety.^j
44. Men are more likely than women to be more flexible in their romantic choices when they are looking for short-term relationship—though when they want a long-term mate, they become pickier about basic virtues.^e
45. Couples around the world who divorce tend to divorce around their fourth year of marriage. After four years, marriages generally stabilize until around eight years.^g
46. Being in love creates high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. The despair associated with unrequited love is associated with plummeting levels of dopamine. To increase dopamine, rejected lovers should exercise. Sunlight is another mood lifter, and smiling also activates nerve pathways that can give feelings of pleasure.^g
47. One of the greatest predictors of love is proximity. Physical closeness leads to increased emotion, and it is not unusual to hear stories of bosses falling in love with their secretaries. On the other hand, scientists now think that at a critical time in childhood (sometime between ages 4–6), boys and girls who live in close proximity lose their ability to fall in love with each other, perhaps preventing the destructive act of mixing one’s DNA with close kin.^g
48. Kama Sutra (love + thread, rule) is an ancient text on love in Sanskrit literature written by Mallanaga Vatsyayana around the second century A.D. Kama is the Hindu god of love and also means desire. Sutra is a manual or a guide.^g
49. The herbs associated with Venus (marjoram, meadowsweet, mint, thyme, and violet) are said to be love inducing when mixed with those herbs sacred to Mars (basil and broom). Spreading them on the floor or scenting the bridal sheets with them supposedly evokes feelings of love.ⁿ
50. The heart is a common symbol of love. Ancient alchemists used the symbol of the heart for incantations of love. The heart can represent an inverted triangle in which love is poured or carried. In Buddhism, the triangle is an invocation of love energy associated with the divine. The heart can also represent the wings of a dove, which was sacrificed in ancient Israel as a gesture of love and which also served as a symbol of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love.ⁿ
51. On average, men around the world marry women who are three years younger than themselves. In the United States, men who remarry usually choose a wife five years younger; if they wed a third time, they often marry someone eight years younger than themselves.^g
52. Studies show that the risk of a “secret love” being revealed heightens romantic feelings for the partners, thanks to increased levels of phenylethylamine (PEA).^e

-- Posted August 4, 2009. Updated November 19, 2009.

References
^a Ackerman, Diane. 1995. A Natural History of Love. Vancouver, WA: Vintage Books.
^b Ben-Ze’ev, Aaron and Ruhama Goussinsky. 2008. In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and Its Victims. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
^c Buss, David. M 2006. “The Evolution of Love.” The New Psychology of Love. Ed. by Robert Sternberg and Karin Weis. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
^d Cohen, Elizabeth. “Loving with All Your Brain.” CNN.com. February 15, 2007. Accessed: July 20, 2009.
^e Fisher, Helen. 1992. Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray. New York, NY: Ballantine Books.
^f ----. 2006. “The Drive to Love: The Natural Mechanism for Mate Selection.” The New Psychology of Love. Ed. by Robert Sternberg and Karin Weis. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
^g ----. 2004. Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. New York, NY: Henry Hold and Company, LLC.
^h Lewis, Thomas, M.D.; Fari Amini, M.D.; and Richard Lannon, M.D. 2000. A General Theory of Love. New York, NY: Random House.
ⁱ “Love.” Online Etymological Dictionary. Accessed: July 15, 2009.
^j “Love Not Enough to Keep Couples Together.” MSNBC.com. July 14, 2009. Accessed: July 19, 2009.
^k “Roses—The Meaning of Each Color.” The Gardener’s Network. 1999-2008. Accessed: July 20, 2009.
^l Schulz, Christine and the editors of The Old Farmers Almanac. 1996. The Book of Love: The Old Farmer’s Almanac Reconsiders Romance, Sex, & Marriage. New York, NY: Yankee Publishing Inc.
^m TennisHistoryOnline.com. "Love." Accessed: November 19, 2009.
ⁿ Tresidder, Jack. 2005. The Complete Book of Symbols. San Francisco, CA: Chronicle Books.

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63 Interesting Facts About Marriage

1. The term “marriage” derives from the Latin word mas meaning “male” or “masculine.” The earliest known use of the word in English dates from the thirteenth century.^a
2. Due to jobs, kids, TV, the Internet, hobbies, and home and family responsibilities, the average married couple spends just four minutes a day alone together.^g
3. The Talmud is very strict about banning extramarital sex—but also enforcing marital sex. The Talmud even lays out a timetable for how often husbands should “rejoice” their wives. For men of independent means, every day; for laborers, twice a week; for ass-drivers, once a week; for camel-drivers, once in 30 days; and for sailors, once in six months.^e
4. Over 75% of people who marry partners from an affair eventually divorce.^h
5. The Oneida colony established in New York in 1848 advocated “complex” or group marriage in which every woman was married to every man. They also practiced “scientific breeding” where parents where matched by a committee according to physical and mental health.^e
6. Traditionally, bridesmaids would be dressed in similar bride-like gowns to confuse rival suitors, evil spirits, and robbers.^b
7. Marrying younger than age 25 dramatically raises the divorce risk. Also, the divorce risk is higher when the woman is much older than the man, though the reverse isn’t as a strong factor.^l

On average, married couples have sex 58 times per year

8. The average married couple has sex 58 times per year, or slightly more than once a week.^g
9. At Italian weddings, it is not unusual for both the bride and groom to break a glass. The number of shards will be equal to the number of happy years the couple will have.^b
10. The word “wife” is likely from the Proto-Indo-European root weip (“to turn, twist, wrap”) or ghwibh, which has a root meaning “shame” or “pudenda.”^o
11. The word “husband” is from the Old Norse husbondi or “master of the house” (literally, hus “house” + bondi “householder, dweller”).ⁱ
12. Some scholars trace the word “bride” to the Proto-Indo-European root bru, “to cook, brew, make broth.”^b
13. The term “groom” is from the Old English guma, meaning “man.”^f
14. In three states—Arkansas, Utah, and Oklahoma—women tend to marry younger, at an average age of 24. Men’s average age is 26. In the northeastern states of New York, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts, men and women wait about four years longer to marry. The U.S. average age for women is 25.6 and for men, 27.7.ⁿ
15. A person’s level of education influences the age at which they marry. Couples tend to marry later in states with higher numbers of college-educated adults, while the opposite is true for states with lower education levels.ⁿ
16. Nevada, Maine, and Oklahoma have the highest percentage of divorced adults. Arkansas and Oklahoma have the highest rates of people who have been married at least three times.ⁿ
17. The probability of a first marriage ending in a divorce within 5 years is 20%, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49%. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33%, compared with 62% for cohabitations.^g
18. Hammurabi’s Code (ca. 1790 B.C.), an ancient Babylonian law code, contains some of the oldest known and recorded marriage laws. These early laws defined marriage as a contract that paradoxically served to protect women and restrict them. According to the Code, a man could divorce his wife if she could not bear children or of she was a “gadabout” who humiliated her husband in public and neglected her house. Additionally, she could be “pitched” in a river if she committed adultery.^g
19. Washington, D.C., has the lowest marriage rate in the nation.^c
20. Approximately $6 billion in revenue is lost by American businesses as a result of decreased worker productivity linked to marriage hardship. Employees in a happy marriage, in contrast, tend to increase a company’s bottom line.^g

The Great Recession has been one of the greatest strains on marriage in decades

21. CNN reports that the current economy is the biggest stress on married couples in the past 60 years.^j
22. A New Woman’s Day and AOL Living poll found that 72% of women surveyed have considered leaving their husbands at some point.^g
23. Married couples tend to have fatter waistlines, which can lead to a decrease in sexual attraction and general health. Additionally, a spouse’s chances of becoming obese increase by 37% if his or her partner is obese.^g
24. A 2008 study found that marital satisfaction improves once children leave home. However, if marital problems existed before, an empty nest often reveals those otherwise masked issues.^g
25. People whose marriage has broken down at the time they are diagnosed with cancer do not live as long as cancer patients who are widowed, have strong marriages, or who have never been married.^k
26. In ancient Greece, Solon (638-538 B.C.) once contemplated making marriage compulsory, and in Athens under Pericles (495-429 B.C.), bachelors were excluded from certain public positions. In Sparta, single and childless men were treated with scorn. In ancient Rome, Augustus (63 B.C.-A.D. 14) passed drastic laws compelling people to marry and penalized those who remained single.^m
27. A marriage ceremony typically ends with a kiss because in ancient Rome, a kiss was a legal bond that sealed contracts, and marriage was seen as a contract.^b
28. Adults who are childhood cancer survivors are 20-25% less likely to marry compared with their siblings and the general American population.^k
29. Stress associated with divorce affects the body’s immune system and its ability to fend off the disease. The health benefits of remarriage are reduced the second and third times around.^g
30. Throughout most of history, marriage was not necessarily based on mutual love, but an institution devoted to acquiring in-laws and property and to provide the family additional labor forces (by having children).^e
31. A white New Orleans man in the late nineteenth century transfused himself with blood from a black woman he loved so he could overcome anti-discrimination laws by claiming he was black and marry her.ⁿ
32. One nineteenth-century New York legislator insisted that letting married women own their own property attacked both God and Nature.^e

A low or no sex marriage has a high probability of separation or divorce within 12 months

33. Just two years after marriage, an estimated 20% of couples make love fewer than 10 times in a year.^g
34. One in three American marriages is “low sex” or “no sex.”^g
35. The number of marriage therapists in the United States has increased 50-fold between 1970 and 1990.^g
36. In the United States, over 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages end in divorce, and nearly 74% of third marriages end in divorce.^g
37. Marriage does more to promote life satisfaction than money, sex, or even children, say Wake Forest University psychologists.^g
38. Compared to singles, married people accumulate about four times more savings and assets. Those who divorced had assets 77% lower than singles.^g
39. Married elderly people are more likely to maintain daily health-promoting habits, such as exercising, not smoking, eating breakfast, and having regular medical check-ups.^g
40. More than friendship, laughter, forgiveness, compatiblility, and sex, spouses name trust as the element crucial for a happy marriage.^g
41. Eighty-one percent of happily married couples said their partner’s friends and family rarely interfered with the relationship, compared to just 38% of unhappy couples.^g
42. Eighty-five percent of couples have had premarital sex.^g

Nearly 60 percent of couples have had an affair, with most affairs occurring within the 25-39 age bracket

43. Nearly 60% of married adults have had at least one affair.^g
44. The cost of an average wedding is $20,000. The cost of an average divorce is $20,000.^g
45. Words form only 7% of our communication with anyone, including spouses. Tone of voice accounts for 38% and body language is responsible for 55% of the messages spouses receive from each other.^g
46. Women who report a fair division of housework were happier in their marriages than women who thought their husbands didn’t do their fair share. Wives also spent more quality time with their husbands when they thought the housework was divided fairly.^d
47. A 15-year-long study found that a person’s happiness level before marriage was the best predictor of happiness after marriage. In other words, marriage won’t automatically make one happy.^d
48. Researchers found a huge decline in happiness four years into a marriage with another decline in years seven to eight. In fact, half of all divorces occur in the first seven years of marriage, which gives rise to the popular term “the seven-year itch.”^d
49. More than two in five Catholics marry outside their church, twice as many as in the 1960s. There are at least one million Jewish-Christian marriages in the U.S. Two in five Muslims in America have chosen non-Muslim spouses.^d
50. Married people are twice as likely to go to church as unmarried people.^g
51. Half of emotional affairs become sexual affairs.^g
52. While couples with children are less likely to divorce than childless couples, the arrival of a new baby is more likely to bring more stress and emotional distance than new happiness. Nearly 90% of couples experienced decrease in martial satisfaction after the birth of their first child.^g
53. Over 40% of married couples in the U.S. include at least one spouse who has been married before. As many as 60% of divorced women and men will marry again, many within just five years.^g

Birth order is an important factor in determining the success of a marriage

54. Birth order can influence whether a marriage succeeds or fails. The most successful marriages are those where the oldest sister of brothers marries the youngest brother of sisters. Two firstborns, however, tend to be more aggressive and can create higher levels of tension. The highest divorce rates are when an only child marries another only child.^j
55. The number of men and women age 65 and older cohabiting outside of marriage nearly doubled between 1990 and 2000.^g
56. Because Virginia law required an ex-slave to leave the state once freed, one freed woman petitioned the legislature in 1815 to become a slave again so she could stay married to her still-enslaved husband.^e
57. For many centuries, the Catholic Church argued that contraception was a sin and made the wife no better “than a harlot.” Up until 1930, many Protestant churches agreed.^e
58. One seventeenth-century Massachusetts husband was put in stocks alongside his adulterous wife and her lover because the community reasoned she wouldn’t have strayed if her husband had been fulfilling is marital obligations.^e
59. Research points to certain characteristics that are most often linked to infidelity, such as being raised in a family where having affairs is considered normal, having a personality that values excitement and risk taking over marital stability, having coworkers and friends who believe affairs are acceptable, and feeling emotionally distant from one’s spouse.^l
60. No sex in a marriage has a much more powerful negative impact on a marriage than good sex has a positive impact.^d
61. Modern Western marriage traditions have long been shaped by Roman, Hebrew, and Germanic cultures as well as by doctrines and traditions of the Medieval Christian church, the Protestant Reformation, and the Industrial Revolution.^a
62. Levirate marriage, where a man is obligated to marry his brother’s widow if she had no sons to care for her, is sometimes required in the Bible (as in Deuteronomy) and sometimes prohibited (as in Leviticus).^e
63. The first recorded mention of same-sex marriage occurs in Ancient Rome and seems to have occurred without too much debate until Christianity became the official religion. In 1989, Denmark was the first post-Christianity nation to legally recognize same-sex marriage.^a

-- Posted November 18, 2009

References
^a Boswell, John. 1995. Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe. New York, NY: Random House.
^b Bride’s Book of Etiquette. 2002. New York, NY: Perigee Books.
^c Connolly, Katie. “Why So Few D.C. Residents Are Married.” Newsweek.com. October 20, 2009. Accessed: October 28, 2009.
^d Gottman, John M. and Julie Schwartz Gottman. 2006. 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage. New York, NY: Three Rivers Press.
^e Graff, E.J. 1999. What Is Marriage For: The Strange Social History of Our Most Intimate Institution. Boston, MA: Beacon Press.
^f “Groom.” Online Etymological Dictionary. Accessed: October 27, 2009.
^g Harrar, Sari and Rita DeMaria. 2007. The 7 Stages of Marriage: Laughter, Intimacy, and Passion. Pleasantville, NY: Reader’s Digest Books.
^h Hein, Holly. Sexual Detours: Infidelity and Intimacy at the Crossroads. 2000. New York, NY: St. Martin's Press.
ⁱ “Husband.” Online Etymological Dictionary. Accessed: October 27, 2009.
^j Mannes, George. “Is the Economy Ruining Your Marriage?” CNN.com. August 21, 2009. Accessed: October 27, 2009.
^k Moore, Matthew. “Divorce Damages Your Health—and Getting Remarried Barely Helps.” Telegraph.co.uk. July 27, 2009. Accessed: October 28, 2009.
^l Neal, Rome. “Signs of Divorce Ahead?: New Study Tries to Predict Which Marriages Will Last.” CBSNEWS.com. August 7, 2002. Accessed: October 29, 2009.
^m Squire, Susan. 2008. I Don’t: A Contrarian History of Marriage. New York, NY: Bloomsbury Press. ⁿ “Where You Live May Affect When You Get Married.” CNN.com. October 20, 2009. Accessed: October 28, 2009.
^o “Wife.” Online Etymological Dictionary. Accessed: October 27, 2009.

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