Top 10 Badasses You Haven’t Heard Of

by Jamie Frater

Okay granted there may be one or two on this list that you do know – though maybe not by name – but hopefully the vast majority of readers will be unfamiliar with most of the badass men and women featured on this list. History is full of badasses, and it is very hard to rank them, so here we are ranking by reverse chronological order. Enjoy the list and be sure to mention other badasses in the comments. This list was inspired by the book “Badass” by Ben Thompson which contains a chapter on each of the characters below as well as dozens more. You can buy it here.

10

Chandragupta Maurya

340 BC – 298 BC

Chandragupta Maurya, born in Bihar, Eastern India, was an orphaned commoner who changed the face of India and forever altered its history, by clawing his way from the slums to forging one of the most expansive Empires in India’s history. Not only did he command nine thousand war elephants, fifty million people and an army of thirty-six thousand – he also had one of the most badass (and awesome) bodyguard units ever. His personal bodyguard unit was made of up more than five hundred Greek and Indian warrior women. In order to destroy the Nanda empire, Maurya simply grabbed a bronze sword and singlehandedly stormed the palace. He was captured and jailed, but escaped – further cementing his place in history as a badass. Ultimately, he went on to destroy the ruling dynasty and put into place the long lasting Maurya dynasty.

9

The Surena

84–52 BC

The Surena (a general) was born into the Surena family who had, for generations, protected the Kings of Parthia (found in Modern day Iran), but it was the general who cemented the family name in the books of history. By all accounts he was the hottest guy in town, the strongest, the manliest and the deadliest – and was obviously such a badass that he is known only as THE Surena. When King Hydrodes was overthrown and expelled from Parthia, the Surena led the mission to recapture the Kingdom. He also had a huge harem of concubines, which took two hundred wagons to transport, that travelled with him everywhere – including on military campaigns. When Crassus stupidly decided to take over the Parthian Empire at the battle of Carrhae, he was brutally put down in one of the most embarrassing trounces of the Roman Army ever, by the Surena and his men. When offered the chance to surrender, Crassus told his men to flee and consequently sent them all to their deaths as the Surena chased them down and killed the lot of them. Crassus was personally beheaded by the Surena and had molten gold poured down his neck. Oh – and did I mention that the Surena was a cross-dresser? Well, not quite, but this is what Plutarch said of him: “[He was] the tallest and finest looking man himself, but the delicacy of his looks and effeminacy of his dress did not promise so much manhood as he really was master of; or his face was painted, and his hair parted after the fashion of the Medes.”

8

Charles Martel

688 – 22 October 741

Charles Martel – otherwise known as Charles the Hammer – was so badass that he not only stopped the Islamic invasion of Western Europe, he is considered to be a founding father of the Middle Ages and all of the delights that came from it (feudalism, knights and chivalry), and laid the groundwork for the Carolingian empire (he was Charlemagne’s Grandfather). He came to be in a position to lead the army against the invading Muslims, because he was the Mayor of the Palace under the Frankish kings. At that time the Kings were pretty useless and left all of the hard work up to the Mayor. He lost only one battle in his lifetime (the Battle of Cologne) but, most importantly, he won the Battle of Tours (October 10, 732) in which two French towns fought against the armies of the Umayyad Caliphat. The defeat of the Muslim army was very significant and, if the battle had gone the other way, we would probably all be speaking Arabic right now. The French army fought the battle entirely on foot which led many to declare that God had given the French the victory. Oh – and to top it all off he was humble too! Martel refused to accept an honorary title from the Pope for saving Europe.

7

Ulf The Quarrelsome

11th Century AD

Ulf (which means wolf) the Quarrelsome was a brutal Irish Warrior and brother of High King Brian Boru (pictured above). He despised the vikings because they murdered his mother while he was young. While King Brian made a name for himself by uniting Ireland, Ulf made a name for himself by whacking people over the head with a giant battle axe. The union of Ireland put an end to the Scandinavian power over the nation of small states and kingdoms, but some people weren’t too keen about the new state of affairs and they rebelled – with the help of thousands of vikings. It was the famous Battle of Clontarf, in 1014, that Ulf really showed his badassness. After almost singlehandedly destroying the viking rebels, Ulf came upon Bróðir of Man – one of the nastiest vikings around (and a sorcerer to boot). Here is Njals saga’s account of how Ulf ended the life of Bróðir – in revenge for killing his brother, King Brian: “Ulf the Quarrelsome cut open his belly, and led him round and round the trunk of a tree, and so wound all his entrails out of him, and he did not die before they were all drawn out of him.”

6

Harald Hardrada

1015 – September 25, 1066

Harald was the youngest of Saint King Olaf II of Norway’s three half-brothers, born to Åsta Gudbrandsdatter. After King Cnut killed his brother Saint Olaf (while Harald was a mere 15 years old), he went off to Constantinople and made himself rich. He then took the opportunity to join the most feared mercenary army, (the Byzantine Vanguard) and began working (or rather cleaving) his way through various armies at the paid request of various European kings. Over his lifetime Harald went on to battle anywhere he could – Europe, the Middle East and Jerusalem. He even managed to take a bit of time out to marry Princess Elisabeth of Russia. Eventually, Harald became the King of Norway (after the young illegitimate King Magnus mysteriously died). Not being content to rule just one country, he spent years trying to conquer Denmark (much to everyone’s annoyance – in Denmark and in Norway). He finally decided to put his energies elsewhere, which was to be his downfall, but the main reason that history remembers him – he decided to conquer England. Alas, his attempts to take England failed and his army was smashed by that of King Harold Godwinson. Harald was the last great Viking king of Norway, and his invasion of England, and death at the Battle of Stamford Bridge in 1066, marked the end of the Viking age and beginning of the High Middle Ages.

5

Tomoe Gozen

1157 – 1247

Two words sum up this amazing woman: concubine, warrior. Tomoe Gozen was an extremely rare thing: a female samurai warrior. Here is what a historical account of her says: “Tomoe was especially beautiful, with white skin, long hair, and charming features. She was also a remarkably strong archer, and as a swordswoman she was a warrior worth a thousand, ready to confront a demon or a god, mounted or on foot. She handled unbroken horses with superb skill; she rode unscathed down perilous descents. Whenever a battle was imminent, Yoshinaka sent her out as his first captain, equipped with strong armor, an oversized sword and a mighty bow; and she performed more deeds of valor than any of his other warriors.” High praise indeed for a male dominated nation, in the 13th century. This warrior woman was also a concubine of Minamoto no Yoshinaka, a revered Japanese general. When he was defeated on the battle field, the sexist pig told Tomoe to leave as he would be ashamed to die with a woman. She went on to behead many, slaughter many, and retire to a quiet life as a nun. Yes – a nun.

4

Miyamoto Musashi

1584 – 1645

Miyamoto Musashi was a kensei – a sword saint. In Japan, this word was used to refer to someone so badass with their sword that they were believed to posses preternatural abilities. Miyamoto Musashi was about the best example of this, ever. In his lifetime he fought over 60 duels, and won them all. He was trained in swordsmanship at the Yoshioka ryu school – a school he later singlehandedly destroyed. His first duel was at the age of thirteen and after that he basically wandered the country fighting as many people as possible, regardless of the weapon they wielded. At the age of thirty he had his most famous duel, against Sasaki Kojirō (The Demon of the Western Provinces). Sasaki Kojirō, fighting with a two handed sword, was defeated very quickly by Musashi, who fought with a little wooden staff, he carved in the boat on his way to the fight. Sick of fighting (and suffering from ill health) he retired to a cave to live as a hermit and write books. He died kneeling, with one hand on his sword and the other on his walking stick.

3

Agustina of Aragon

March 4, 1786 – May 29, 1857

Agustina de Aragón was a Spanish heroine who defended Spain during the Spanish War of Independence, first as a civilian and later as a professional officer in the Spanish Army. So badass were her actions that she became known as “the Spanish Joan of Arc”. When war broke out in 1808, in her small Spanish town, she took a basket of apples to feed the gunners. When she arrived she saw the Spanish soldiers take heavy losses to the French army, causing the Spaniards to flee. Instead of running away, Agustina ran to the cannons and began to defend the town on her own. The sight of her doing this gave the Spaniards the courage to return and help. After a bloody struggle, the French gave up the assault on Zaragosa and abandoned their siege for a few short weeks, before returning to fight their way into the city, house-by-house which ultimately won them the town. After being captured by the French, she was imprisoned but she subsequently mounted a daring escape and became a low-level rebel leader for the guerrilleros, helping to organize raids and attacks that harassed the French. On June 21, 1813, she acted as a front line battery commander at the Battle of Vitoria, under the command of Major Cairncross. This battle was to see the French Army that had occupied Spain effectively smashed beyond repair and driven out. She eventually married a doctor and lived the rest of her life in peace, proudly wearing her battle medals.

2

Jack Churchill

16 September 1906 – 8 March 1996

Now here is a man everyone should know about – he truly typifies badassness and bravery. Nicknamed “Fighting Jack Churchill” and “Mad Jack”, he was an English soldier who fought throughout World War II armed with just a longbow, arrows and a claymore (sword). He once said “any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed.” Remember that during this war he was basically using a sword and a bow and arrow against men with tanks and machine guns. He is the only soldier to have killed an enemy with an arrow in the war. And in true quirky British style, not only did he fight the good fight – he would rouse the troops with a merry tune on his bagpipes, as he was an expert piper and always took them with him to battle. In his most awesome moment, Churchill led a team of commandos into enemy lines playing “Will Ye No Come Back Again?” on his bagpipes. He was the only member of the group that made it to the objective alive – everyone else was killed around him. Perhaps the Germans liked his playing too much to kill him. When the war ended and the world celebrated, Churchill was not happy. He is recorded as saying: “If it wasn’t for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!” In retirement he took up surfing in Australia before returning to England to live. In the photograph above you can see Churchill on the right with sword in hand.

1

Bhanbhagta Gurung

September 1921 – 1 March 2008

Bhanbhagta Gurung was from Nepal and for his actions of one day in World War II he received the Victoria Cross – the highest honor available to British and Commonwealth soldiers. The best way to appreciate Gurung’s true badassity is to read what the London papers said of his deeds: “On 5 March, 1945, at Snowdon-East, near Tamandu, Burma (now Myanmar), Gurung and his unit were approaching Snowdon-East. His company became pinned down by an enemy sniper and were suffering casualties. As this sniper was inflicting casualties on the section, Rifleman Bhanbhagta Gurung, being unable to fire from the lying position, stood up fully exposed to the heavy fire and calmly killed the enemy sniper with his rifle, thus saving his section from suffering further casualties. [And then it really gets badass:]
“The section advanced again but came under heavy fire once again. Without waiting for orders, Gurung dashed out to attack the first enemy fox-hole. Throwing two grenades, he killed the two occupants and without any hesitation rushed on to the next enemy fox-hole and killed the Japanese in it with his bayonet. He cleared two further fox-holes with bayonet and grenade. “During his single-handed attacks on these four enemy fox-holes, Rifleman Bhanbhagta Gurung was subjected to almost continuous and point-blank Light Machine Gun fire from a bunker on the North tip of the objective.” For the fifth time, Gurung “went forward alone in the face of heavy enemy fire to knock out this position. He doubled forward and leapt on to the roof of the bunker from where, his hand grenades being finished, he flung two No. 77 smoke grenades into the bunker slit.” Gurung killed two Japanese soldiers who ran out of the bunker with his Kukri, and then advanced into the cramped bunker and killed the remaining Japanese soldier.”
Frankly, while everyone on this list deserves a place, the last two do so especially.

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15 Common Astronomy Myths

by Jamie Frater

Ever since I was a kid I have loved astronomy. I would lie in the back yard and stare at the stars in awe, trying to imagine what was out there. This led to a love of science fiction and science in general. Ultimately, I pursued other avenues for my career (music), but my love of the heavens still remains. This list looks at 15 commonly believed factlets about astronomy which are wrong. This is derived (in small part) by the excellent book Sorry, Wrong Answer – I strongly recommend it.

1

Myths 1 – 5

1. Contrary to popular believe, Venusian is not the term to describe Venus and Venus related things. The correct term is Cytherean, which comes from Cytheria – the small island where Aphrodite emerged from a shell. Furthermore, Venusian is also not correct in that it doesn’t follow the pattern used for other planets – if you aren’t referring to Venus as the Cytherian planet you should call it the Venerean planet.
2. A very popular myth (which has even been repeated as fact by members of the Green party in the New Zealand parliament) states that crimes and accidents increase in number during a full moon. While it is almost impossible to debunk such a myth, there are no statistics relating to the incidence of crimes which supports this wacky theory.
3. Copernicus was not the first person to state that the Earth revolves around the sun. That theory was first taught by unknown ancient thinkers. While we don’t know their names, we do know for certain that, from as early as the seventh century BC, it was suggested in Sanskrit documents.
4. NASA did not spend millions of dollars trying to develop a pen to write in space when they could just have used pencils. First off, they did use pencils (like the cosmonauts) rather than trying to develop a pen, but when a smart man developed (at his own expense) a pressurized pen that not only would work in space but under the ocean as well, NASA purchased 400 of the pens at the cost of $6 per pen (they are now about $50 per pen and you can buy them online here). The Soviets also bought his pens. To this day, both nations still use the Fisher Space Pen (named after its inventor Paul Fisher).
5. I am a little loath to add this one as it has been mentioned on Listverse before, but for the sake of completion here it is: The Great wall of China is not visible from space with the naked eye even in a low Earth orbit. However, many other manmade objects are (such as bridges and dams).

2

Myths 6 – 10

6. This is a myth I hadn’t heard of but apparently it is quite widespread. The myth is that if you stand in the bottom of a deep well in broad daylight, you can see the stars. This is actually an ancient myth – it was mentioned by Aristotle. But in reality, it is not true. Logically thinking, the further down a well you are, the smaller the top of the well appears – and consequently the darkness of the walls combines with that to make the opening appear dazzlingly bright – not dark as it would need to be to see the stars.
7. This one will surprise most of you, I suspect. Most rocket launches in the US do not go from Cape Canaveral. Most of them are launched from Merritt Island in Brevard County, Florida, where NASA’s JFK Space Center is found. All shuttle launches have occurred, or do occur, at Merritt Island while only a small number of rockets were launched from the now decommissioned Launch Complex, which is in Cape Canaveral. The last manned spaceflight from Cape Canaveral was over thirty years ago.
8. The shuttle did not explode in the common definition of that word. There was no shock wave, no detonation, no “bang” — viewers on the ground just heard the roar of the engines stop as the shuttle’s fuel tank tore apart, spilling liquid oxygen and hydrogen, which formed a huge fireball at an altitude of 46,000 ft. (Some television documentaries later added the sound of an explosion to these images.) But both solid-fuel strap-on boosters climbed up out of the cloud, still firing and unharmed by any explosion. Challenger itself was torn apart as it was flung free of the other rocket components and turned broadside into the Mach 2 airstream. Individual propellant tanks were seen exploding — but by then, the spacecraft was already in pieces. [Source]
9. We have all seen the face on Mars but, despite much evidence to the contrary, many people still believe it is an alien creation. In the most recent flyby of Mars, NASA was able to get a much clearer picture (which you can see above). Those who still believe that it is a non-naturally made hill are suffering from pareidolia.
10. Mercury is the closest planet to the sun but, despite this, it is not the hottest. The planet with the highest mean surface temperature is actually Venus – a consequence of its mostly carbon-dioxide atmosphere.

3

Myths 11 – 15

11. We have all heard of the dark side of the moon which often makes us presume that the moon is stationary, but in fact, the moon rotates just as Earth does – once for each orbit (to the observer). And, incidentally, the dark side of the moon is actually just the night side – it is no more a fixed feature of the moon than the night side of the Earth.
12. Galileo didn’t invent the telescope. The earliest known working telescopes appeared in 1608, and are credited to Hans Lippershey. Among many others who claimed to have made the discovery were Zacharias Janssen, spectacle-makers in Middelburg, and Jacob Metius of Alkmaar. The design of these early refracting telescopes consisted of a convex objective lens and a concave eyepiece. Galileo used this design the following year. [Source]
13. Contrary to popular belief, Jupiter is not a big ball of gas with a small solid core. Here is why: The Jovian, Jupiter-like planets, which also include Saturn, Uranus and Neptune have extensive gaseous atmospheres which eventually become compressed into liquid oceans of primarily hydrogen and helium. As pressures increase, hydrogen is even forced into a metallic state which is the basis for creating the strong magnetic fields which surround all four Jovian worlds. It would be much better to describe these planets as liquid worlds with extensive gaseous atmospheres. [Source]
14. The Alpha Centauri system is the closest star system to our own, but neither Alpha Centauri A or B (it is a double star system) is the closest star – that honor goes to Proxima Centauri, which is about 0.2 light years away from the other two stars.
15. From the video footage it may have looked like an explosion in the traditional sense, but there was little in the way of combustion (fire). What occurred was a failure of an O-ring on one of the two solid fuel booster rockets. When launch occurred, escaping gases from the malfunctioning O-ring heated the huge liquid fuel tank on which the shuttle rides during its ascent. At 72 seconds after liftoff, the lower strut linking the right booster to the external tank broke apart. The booster pivoted around its upper attachment, causing its nose cone to smash into the liquid oxygen tank. Once the liquid fuel tank was ruptured, rapid expansion of the liquid hydrogen and oxygen ripped apart the shuttle, sending the seven crew members to their deaths. The crew was probably alive, but unconscious, when the virtually intact crew cabin impacted into the Atlantic Ocean several minutes after the catastrophe. [Source]

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The Story of Saint Patrick's Day

History vs. Legend

No country celebrates its patron saint like Ireland. Nor, indeed, has any national day been embraced the world over like Saint Patrick’s Day. For a country whose history is characterized by conflict with the British, however, it is perhaps the biggest irony of all that the man himself—the quintessential Irish Catholic hero—was a Briton. The St. Patrick of the twenty-first century—the green-garbed, shamrock-toting bishop responsible for the entire conversion of Ireland to Christianity—is a far cry from the aristocratic British atheist who first stepped off a boat onto Irish soil in the fifth century. The story of St. Patrick’s Day is a story of history versus legend—of political and religious manipulation of a man who, during his own life, was an understated and little-known cleric but who, in posterity, became the greatest Irish hero of all time.
The Real Saint Patrick
The historical Patrick is a shadowy figure. This is partly due to the nature of the time he lived in, from which written records are sparse or dubious and often of little historical value—and partly due to his own desire to keep events such as his death and burial low-key affairs. Patrick was, at his own request, buried in an unmarked grave and, therefore, avoided much of the furore which generally follows the death and subsequent veneration of a saint. For these reasons, Patrick seems to have fallen into obscurity in the centuries following his passing, and but for several vague estimations in the Irish Annals, even the year of his own death is unestablishable. Nevertheless, this hasn’t deterred numerous historians and biographers from penning colorful and flowing narratives of Patrick’s life, stretching to hundreds of pages and including assumptions based primarily on Patrick’s own two surviving works of literature, his Confession and his Letter to the Soldiers of Coroticus. Amid the haze, however, it is possible to pinpoint many of the main landmarks in Patrick’s life.

St. Patrick found God whilst enslaved in Ireland

Patrick, or Patricius, was born at some point toward the end of the fourth century A.D., coinciding with the final few decades of Roman occupation in Britain. Patrick’s family were of the landowning class, and his father, like his grandfather before him, held a position as a lower-ranked member of the clergy (Freeman). Perhaps surprisingly, however, given his future vocation, religious faith was not something which Patrick shared in common with his father—in fact, by the age of 15 he was what would now be called an atheist. It was at this point in his life that Patrick committed a sin so appalling that it would haunt him for the rest of his days. The exact nature of the sin is, and probably always shall be, unknown, but it was a sin so great that years later Patrick’s fellow bishops in Britain, upon discovery of his transgression, demanded he stand trial and be stripped of his position. Shockingly, biographer Phillip Freeman has suggested that the only crime great enough to have roused such passion at that time was the act of murder.
Aged just 15 and with his sin, whatever it was, still undetected, Patrick was enslaved by a group of professional Irish slave raiders and transported to Ireland where he spent six years in captivity tending sheep on a farm. It was during this time, he tells us, that he found God. Tormented by his demeaning enslavement, and probably crippled by guilt over his sin, Patrick became increasingly religious and prayed regularly for his freedom. He eventually escaped and returned to Britain, assisted by dreams in which he believed God spoke to him directly and guided him to freedom. The ordeal in Ireland had changed Patrick, however, and encouraged by his new-found faith, he returned to Ireland as a bishop where, legend has it, he was responsible for the conversion of the entire island to Christianity.
The Legend Begins
As the years of obscurity following his death demonstrate, however, this legend was not immediately known to Patrick’s contemporaries. However, from the seventh century onward, the notion of Patrick as the patron saint of Ireland began to grow. The modern-day celebration of Saint Patrick’s Day can trace its roots to the Armagh hagiographer Muirchu, who wrote Life of Saint Patrick in the seventh century. Ireland in that time was ruled by a large number of petty kingships, many of which claimed overkingship of all of Ireland. Among the main contenders for supremacy was the Ui Neill dynasty, based at Tara in Armagh, and Muirchu’s Life probably reflects an attempt to venerate Patrick as the patron saint of Ireland in order to give political weight to their case. Muirchu’s claim that Patrick was solely responsible for the conversion of Ireland to Christianity furnished the assertion that Patrick had chosen Armagh as the headquarters of his church (Hopkin). Thus, the first recorded claim of Patrick as patron saint of Ireland can be established.
St. Patrick's Day: Religious Feast
By the ninth century, the 17th of March—believed at the time to be the day on which Patrick had died—had become the focal point in a three-day celebration of religious feasting. An entry in the Book of Armagh (c. 807) contains the directive that all monasteries and churches should honor Patrick’s death with three days of feasting (Hopkin). The legend continued to grow primarily in oral tradition, and at some point between the ninth century and the Norman invasion of Ireland in the twelfth century, the famous myth that Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland was formulated. It is a remarkably resilient myth which remains strong to this day and is probably symbolic of Patrick driving evil, in the shape of paganism, out of Ireland. In the five centuries between the Norman invasion and the Irish rebellion against English rule in 1798, the legend of Saint Patrick continued to grow in oral tradition, and the day began to move away from a religious holiday and become a far more secular celebration characterised by hard drinking and symbolised by various secular emblems such as the shamrock and the color green. The reasons for the adoption of these symbols can be found in Ireland’s complex political anatomy.
Symbolism

The Shamrock and the color green are the most famous symbols of St. Patrick's Day

Modern-day St. Patrick’s Day celebrations are characterised by the wearing of the color green and the displaying of the shamrock. The wearing of the shamrock is a particularly interesting phenomenon, and one which is first recorded in the seventeenth century (Hopkin). Traditional past opinion favored the view that the shamrock was worn because Saint Patrick had used it as a metaphor to explain the Holy Trinity (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) during his conversion of the heathens; however, more sophisticated theories now prevail, whereby it is believed the wearing of the shamrock by the Irish natives was a demonstration of national pride and, as such, was also an act of overt defiance to their English rulers (Hopkin).
The red saltire, the traditional symbol of St. Patrick, was also inextricably linked to political tensions. The saltire became increasingly unpopular and fell out of common use during St Patrick’s Day celebrations after its incorporation into the Union flag of Great Britain and Ireland following the unpopular treaty of 1801. By the eighteenth century, the Irish Nationalist movement adopted green, the colour of St. Patrick, as its own representative color, thereby also establishing green permanently as the traditional color of Ireland.
Alcohol
St. Patrick’s day celebrations—and, indeed, the Irish nation in general—are often stereotyped by the riotous consumption of copious amounts of alcohol. This, however, is not simply a twenty-first-century phenomenon—it seems that the anniversary of St. Patrick’s Day had been characterised by drunkenness for centuries. Church synods are recorded complaining about the Irish tendency to mark religious holidays with prolonged and heavy drinking sessions as far back as the seventeenth century.

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated by the wearing of green and the consumption of alcohol

Before large-scale, organized events were used to mark the day, St. Patrick’s day was usually celebrated in taverns and was dominated by the seemingly endless drinking of toasts, which inevitably led to widespread drunkenness. The association of St. Patrick’s Day with drunkenness was so widely held at the time that during the Seven Years' War, French troops staged an attack on the English Fort Henry to coincide with the celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, knowing that the English army there consisted primarily of Irish recruits, fully expecting them to be incapacitated by alcohol (Hopkin). The English, however, were equally aware of the celebrations, and had allowed the Irish to celebrate the previous day, in anticipation of such a French assault.
Export
The renowned Irish writer Jonathan Swift, most famously the author of Gulliver's Travels, wrote from London in 1713 describing how it appeared that “the whole world was Irish” for the day (Hopkin). This is the first known recording of St. Patrick’s Day celebrations happening outside of Ireland. Little could Swift have imagined the extent to which the celebrations would permeate the world in the centuries that would follow. The nineteenth and twentieth centuries saw mass Irish emigration to primarily, but not exclusively, America, and particularly to places like Philadelphia, Boston, and New York.
It was in Boston that the first recorded St. Patrick’s Day celebration can be found on March 17th, 1737—and in 1762, the first record of the now iconic St. Patrick’s Day parade is found in New York, when a group of Irish military men spontaneously decided to march between taverns with their band and their regimental banners on display (Hopkin). The phenomenon caught on, and is now probably the key defining feature of St. Patrick’s Day celebrations in America. America embraced St. Patrick’s Day like no other country on earth, and George Washington himself professed to being a lover of the holiday.
Protestant vs. Catholic
In a nation characterized by religious war and sectarianism, it is perhaps refreshing that St. Patrick’s Day is embraced by both denominations. It is probably a reflection not only of the increasing secularization of society, but also of attempts by both denominations to tailor the story of St. Patrick to fit their own needs. Traditionally, St. Patrick’s Day was never an official religious holiday on the Protestant Church’s calendar; however, it was widely celebrated as a secular festival and was often celebrated in conjunction with expressions of loyalty to King William, the crown, and the Protestant interest (McCormack). In a remarkable coincidence, the day took on specific significance in 1789 when the celebrations coincided with the official recovery from madness by King George III. Protestant celebrations, however, tended to be restricted to the upper and middle classes, who would meet at “breakfasts” and drink toasts to the King.
Popular celebrations—and all the popular symbolism that these included, like the shamrock and the color green—were generally the domain of the lower-class Catholics (Hill). Ireland in the eighteenth century was socially stratified, with the upper and middle ruling classes being almost exclusively Protestant, while the lower, oppressed classes contained the Catholic majority. The nature of Ireland’s social and religious divide shaped the celebrations of the Protestant and Catholic denominations, particularly in the traumatic eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. Protestants saw St. Patrick’s conversion of the pagans as a glorious example which the Protestant reformers of the seventeenth century had emulated, whilst the Catholics saw a Catholic saint and role model promoting the Catholic interest by means of widespread conversion.
Today
Largely thanks to the American example, Saint Patrick’s Day today is celebrated throughout the world, in places as far afield as Australia, Canada, South America, and Africa. In keeping with the traditions of using the day to assert national pride, it is still noticeable today that Saint Patrick’s Day tends to be celebrated more by Irish people living away from their homeland than it is inside the country itself. Driven perhaps by homesickness, nostalgia, pride, or a sense of loss, Saint Patrick’s Day in the twenty-first century is a boisterous, drink-fuelled celebration of Irishness, which transcends religious denominations and international boundaries and is, without any doubt, Ireland’s most famous export.

-- Posted September 1, 2010

References
Freeman, Phillip. 2004. St. Patrick of Ireland: A Biography. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster.
Hill, J.R. “National Festivals, the State, and Protestant Ascendancy in Ireland, 1790-1829.” I.H.S., xxiv, no. 93 (May 1984).
Hopkin, Allanah. 1989. The Living Legend of St. Patrick. London, UK: Grafton Books. McCormack, Bridget. 2000. Perceptions of St. Patrick in Eighteenth-Century Ireland. Cornwall, UK: Four Courts Press.

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Top 10 Funny Zombie Movie Moments

The first zombie movie was 1932’s White Zombie. It’s not very funny (at least not intentionally funny) and it definitely isn’t scary. Since then, there have been hundreds of zombie movies made, and I think the best ones are a combination of both. Some use funny moments to relieve the tension between zombie attacks; others use zombie attacks to break up the funny moments. Either way, researching this list was a lot of fun.

Other than my sense of humor, the only other criteria used was that each movie could only be listed once. Of course, the movies included on this list had to actually be zombie movies.  Sometimes alien-controlled or demonic characters are included in the zombie genre, but I disagree. For example, I’ve disqualified Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead series from this list because the ‘deadites’ featured in these films are actually demon-possessed corpses, not zombies.

If you don’t agree with my choices, please share your favorite funny zombie movie moments or zombie one-liners in your comments below.

(Note about video clips: I’ve included the location of each quote for longer clips – if you let the clips play through from the beginning be prepared for gore and spoilers.)

10. Tell Him To Get Burt Reynolds

Dawn of the Dead

(Starts at :18.)

Steve: Oh, oh! Uh… Rosie O’Donnell, tell him to get Rosie -
Kenneth: Ooh, yah, Rosie!
Tucker: Nah, too easy… give him something hard.
Ana: You guys had really rough childhoods, didn’t you- little bit rocky?
Steve: Hey, sweetheart, let me tell you something. You, uh, you have my permission… I ever turn into one of those things, do me a favor, blow my… head off.
Ana: Oh, yeah, you can count on that!

When the undead rise, civilization will fall.
The action in Dawn of the Dead centers around a group of people barricaded in a shopping mall during a zombie outbreak. The scene selection above- where characters are killing time by killing zombies- is unique to the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead. Alternately, the original 1978 version of the movie has a funny scene where a character is attacked by zombies when he stops to take his blood pressure. (These are just two examples of the differences between the original and remake of the movie.)

The original Dawn of the Dead was the second Living Dead film made by George A. Romero. There are six Living Dead films (plus four remakes). The first in the series, Night of the Living Dead, appears on this list as well (#8). Other titles are: Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead, and Survival of the Dead.

9. They’re Using Tools

Bride of Re-Animator

(You can watch the clip at YouTube (embedding was disabled),  it starts at 1:50. Or you can watch the trailer for the movie, below.)

Herbert West: (zombie is using an ax to break down the door) My god, they’re using tools.

Death. Mate. Re-Animate.
Dedicated medical student Herbert West can’t resist making observations even while fighting for his life. Bride of Re-Animator (1990) is the sequel to Re-Animator, which appears at #5 on this list.

8. They’re Coming To Get You, Barbara

Night of the Living Dead

Johnny: They’re coming to get you Barbra
Barbra: Stop it! You’re ignorant.
Johnny: They’re coming for you Barbra.
Barbra: Stop it, you’re acting like a child!
Johnny: They’re coming for you… Look! There comes one now…

They’re coming to get you…
Possibly the best zombie movie every made, certainly the most influential – George A. Romero’s 1968 Night of the Living Dead released the relentlessly slow-approaching, brain-eating classic zombies into our popular culture. A pop culture phenomenon that has spread over the years, infecting everything from classic literature (like the book Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) to music, to video games and toys (check out zomedy.com for examples).

7. I love you… let me eat your br-a-a-a-a-a-a-i-n-s

Return of the Living Dead

(Starts at :30.)

Freddy: See? You made me hurt myself again! I broke my hand off completely at the wrist this time, Tina! But that’s okay, darlin’, because I love you, and that’s why you have to let me eat your br-a-a-a-a-a-a-i-n-s.

Second best quote from this clip (at :05): I know you’re here because I can smell your br-a-a-a-a-a-a-ins.

They’re back from the grave and ready to party!
A special moment in zombie movie history: zombies start asking for ‘br-a-a-a-a-a-a-i-ns’ for the first time in Return of the Living Dead (1985). Another first for Return of the Living Dead: it’s the first zomedy or zom com. This type of movie has become increasingly popular, with recent examples such as Shaun of the Dead, Fido, and Zombieland.

Return of the Living Dead is based on a book by John Russo and the first movie in a series of five films (they all have ‘Return of the Living Dead’ in their titles, such as Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave).

6. Weedman Said It

I Was A Teenage Zombie

(Starts at :15.)

Guy: Who said that?
Drug Dealer Zombie: (pops up from backseat of car) Weedman said it. (girl screams) Here’s your weed… Your seaweed!

A killer party you won’t forget.
When a group of teenagers accidentally kill their drug dealer they dump the body into toxic water and he returns as a zombie. This low budget film was obviously influenced by The Toxic Avenger. The director worked on the set of The Toxic Avenger at Troma Studios and (as pointed out in an article at Goregirl’s Dungeon) one of the movie characters is named after Troma Films co-founder Lloyd Kaufman.

5. What Are You Thinking… How Do You Feel?

Re-Animator

(Starts at 2:50.)

Dr. Carl Hill: W-e-s-s-s-s-s
Herbert West: Yes, doctor, it’s Herbert West. What are you thinking? How do you feel?
Dr. Carl Hill: Y-o-o-o-o-o-u
Herbert West: (writing in notebook) ‘You’…
Dr. Carl Hill: B-a-a-a-s-t-a-r-d!

Herbert West has a very good head on his shoulders… and another one in a dish on his desk.
Re- Animator (1985) is based on a H.P. Lovecraft story and stars beloved horror actor Jeffrey Combs, who has appeared in 8 different Lovecraft film adaptations and at least 30 other horror films. (There is also a third and final Re-Animator film: Beyond Re-Animator (2003), which is definitely the weakest of the three movies.)

4. Uh, That’s Still Tender

Zombieland

(Starts at :30.)

Columbus: I can’t believe I shot Bill Murray!
Tallahasee: Mr. Murray?
Bill Murray: Uh, I’m just Bill I think, now…
Tallahasee: Bill?
Bill Murray: Ya?
Tallahasee: (touching wound) I don’t think we’re going to be able to stitch this
Bill Murray: Uh… that’s still tender…

This place is so dead.
Zombie movie meets road movie, and it’s one hell of a ride. Released in 2009, this is the most recent movie on the list.

3. Your Mother Ate My Dog!

Brain Dead (a.k.a. Dead Alive)

(Starts at 1:05.)

Paquita Maria Sanchez: Your mother ate my dog!
Lionel Cosgrove: Not all of it.

There’s something nasty in Lionel’s cellar – His family!
Brain Dead (1992), made in New Zealand, was Peter Jackson’s first professionally made movie. It is considered the best zombie movie of all time by some, and the goriest by many.

2. She’s So Drunk

Shaun of the Dead

(Starts at 1:00.)

Shaun: (sees zombie in his backyard) She’s so drunk.

2^nd favorite: He’s got an arm off… get him. 3^rd favorite: You’ve got red on you.

In a time of crisis a hero must rise…from his sofa.
Shaun of the Dead, another example of a recent zombie comedy, references many classic zombie movies. For example, Shaun’s mom’s name is Barbra, which opens the door for Ed to shout “We’re coming to get you, Barbara!” when they are on the way to rescue her. At work, Shaun mentions that a coworker named Ash is sick and can’t come in for his shift. (The Evil Dead trilogy character Ashley J. ‘Ash’ Williams is a sales clerk at S-Mart. Evidently the Shaun of the Dead co-writers, director Edgar Wright and lead role actor Simon Pegg, think Raimi’s movies belong in the zombie category.). Also, excerpts from the Dawn of the Dead soundtrack are used throughout the film and news broadcasts make reference to 28 Days Later and Night of the Living Dead. And, of course, the movie title is a play on Dawn of the Dead.

1. You’re Dates Are Here

Night of the Creeps

Detective Cameron: I got good news and bad news, girls. The good news is your dates are here…
Girl: What’s the bad news?
Detective Cameron: They’re dead.

Second favorite quote from this movie: What I’m going to need is your standard flame-thrower.

If you scream… you’re dead.
Night of the Creeps (1986) isn’t the best movie on this list, but I think this scene deserves first place.

Parasites from space infect a frat boy. When two geeks accidentally thaw out his frozen body, the infection spreads and carnage on campus ensues. The main characters are named after popular horror and sci-fi directors, including Cronenberg, Raimi, Carpenter, Landis, and Cameron.

Bonus Material

More Funny Zombie Movie Moments

For a larger collection of funny zombie movie moments, check out our playlist at the TopTenz YouTube channel.

Fans of Sam Raimi and The Evil Dead

Had it been eligible, Army of Darkness would have filled 8 spots on this list and Evil Dead II would have taken one spot. Army of Darkness is one of my favorite movies of all time and, really, it’s just that funny. It’s the Blazing Saddles of action movies, the Spaceballs of medieval horror, the Fletch of the Cthulhu Mythos… you get my point… You can visit The Evil Dead Sam Raimi playlist at the TopTenz YouTube channel to see a selection of from these movies.

Sources: The Definitive Zombie Movie List, ZombieMovieList.com, moviemistakes.com, Rotten Tomatoes, Zomedy.com, IMdb, YouTube, Wikipedia.

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Top 10 Grossest Halloween Candy

Halloween brings out the kid in all of us. Although for the adults, it’s really about dressing up in wild costumes for a fun party or decorating the house to scare the bejeebus out of any visitors. For kids, Halloween is still all about the candy. It’s quite a unique holiday that, over time, has evolved into telling ghost stories and hording sweets.

Several candy companies have gotten into the spirit of Halloween by developing their own version of gross-out treats, which you can enjoy all year around.

Here then are the top 10 grossest Halloween candies:

10. Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans

If you’re a true Muggle, you might not have any idea what these special jellybeans are all about. But true devotees of the world of Harry Potter are quite familiar with Bertie Botts and her confectionary concoctions. Borrowing a page from the best-selling novels and popular film franchise, this collection of jelly beans come in such delightful flavors as dirt, ear wax, rotten egg, soap and vomit. There are some regular good tasting jellybeans in each batch but buyer beware!

9. Sour Flush Toilet Candy

It’s a toilet full of sugar! It’s a plunger lollipop! It’s both! Sour Flush Toilet Candy is shaped like an actual tiny toilet. You flip the lid and dip in one of your flavored lollipop plungers and, “Voila!”- you’ve got a tasty treat simulating the unclogging of your toilet. Insert your own joke here.

8. Crime Scene Candy Tubes

Nothing says Halloween like a good old-fashioned crime scene. Now the kiddies can get in on all the CSI fun with their own edible Crime Scene Candy Tube. Each tube is filled with drinkable goodness in three flavors: Blood, Urine and Saliva. Yes, that’s Blood, Urine and Saliva (or cherry, lemonade and apple if you’re being picky).

7. Box of Boogers

Full disclosure: you won’t really know you’re eating simulated boogers unless you have the actual Box of Boogers handy. Each individual booger looks like it could really be a typical piece of gummy green or yellow candy. But thanks to the packaging that proudly proclaims “Tangy gummy boogies that look and feel real” you won’t soon forget what you’re supposed to be chewing on.

6. Scorpion Suckers and Chocolate Covered Bugs

Wasn’t there always a kid in every neighborhood who would eat a bug for a nickel? Now everyone can get into that act with these actual ants, crickets dipped in chocolate or scorpions encased in lollipop candy. They are completely edible and taste great, so the reviews say. Fear Factor candy anyone?

5: Nose Hose

You know you’re in for a tasty treat with a candy slogan that is “It’s snot what you think!” The Nose Hose works on the simple principle of strapping a big plastic nose on your face then having a tube run through to drip sweet tasting liquid onto your waiting tongue. Fun for the whole family.

4. Ear Wax Candy

Keeping with the “what can we eat from our head” theme, Ear Wax Candy is perfect for when you’ve got a craving to eat some ear wax but don’t really want to eat actual ear wax. You get a big plastic ear with a handy ear drum snap lid. Inside the ear canal is a fruity-jelly like substance that approximates ear wax. You dip in your plastic swab, scoop out some ear goop and lick away.

3. Zit Poppers

How devastating was it to discover a pimple on the eve of the big dance? Or to have your graduation photo ruined because of an errant blemish. Ahh, to be young again with a face full of acne. Now you can relive all those wonderful moments of teenage angst with Zip Poppers. Imagine gummi candies shaped like huge pimples loaded with gooey jelly that you squeeze or pop out to taste. Available in strawberry and watermelon just like regular acne.

2. Chocka Ca-Ca

As the name implies, Chock Ca-Ca are bite size pieces of chocolate shaped to look just like what babies leave behind in their diapers. And if you need more convincing, each piece of Chock Ca-Ca actually comes wrapped in their own diaper. This unique treat comes in blue for boys and pink for girls packaging. Won’t it be fun to bring this gift at your next baby shower? Chances are you’ll never be invited to another baby shower. Mission accomplished. (Image: itsstupid.com.)

1. Lick Your Wounds Candy

Have you ever found yourself wearing a Band-Aid and wishing you could pull it off and lick a piece of candy underneath? Well, now you can with these delightful candy scabs. Underneath the pad of a typical Band-Aid is a lollipop-style hard candy that you can take a few licks of and then replace. S-w-e-e-e-e-e-e-t. Just be on the lookout for skin hair. Did we mention this is gross candy?

By Rick Bitzman

What was your favorite Halloween candy?

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Top 10 Myths About Dinosaurs

This list explores some of the popular misconceptions about dinosaurs; about how much we actually know about them, and about how well the evidence supports some of our most cherished beliefs concerning dinosaurs.

1. Myth One

The Myth: Humans lived alongside dinosaurs

Dinosaurs and people coexist only in books, movies and cartoons. The last dinosaurs – other than birds – died out dramatically about 65 million years ago, while the fossils of our earliest human ancestors are only about 6 million years old.

2. Myth Two

The Myth: Mammals only evolved after dinosaurs died out

Tiny mammals lived in the shadow of the dinosaurs for more than 150 million years, occupying ecological niches as small, nocturnal animals weighing as little as 2 grams. The ancestors of mammals, animals called synapsids, actually appeared before dinosaurs.

Mammals remained relatively small until 65 million years ago, when the demise of the dinosaurs left a mass of niches for larger mammals to fill. Most of the types of mammals we know today evolved after this time.

3. Myth Three

The Myth: Dinosaurs died out because mammals ate their eggs

Dinosaurs coexisted with mammals for 150 million years. Although dinosaur nests were undoubtedly vulnerable, the most dangerous predators were probably smaller dinosaurs. Most mammals of the time were probably too small to eat the eggs of large dinosaurs.

4. Myth Four

The Myth: An asteroid impact alone killed the dinosaurs

A layer of iridium-rich rock marks the impact 65 million years ago of a 10-kilometre asteroid in shallow water covering what is now Mexico’s Yucatan peninsula. That impact formed the 180 kilometre-wide Chicxulub crater. There is no convincing evidence that any non-avian dinosaurs survived the aftermath of the impact. Yet we are still not totally sure how the dinosaurs died.

The impact itself could only have killed the dinosaurs in the immediate vicinity of the crater. But it also produced devastating after-effects including giant tsunamis, rain that may have been as acidic as battery acid, and clouds of dust that darkened and cooled the globe for months or even decades.

Another theory suggests that before the impact, dinosaurs were already dwindling as falling sea levels and volcanic eruptions took their toll. A combination of those effects probably wiped out the dinosaurs.

5. Myth Five

The Myth: Dinosaurs died out because they were unsuccessful in evolutionary terms

Dinosaurs survived for more than 150 million years, so they cannot be considered unsuccessful. Hominids have lived for only 6 million years, and Homo sapiens date back no more than 200,000 years. Dinosaurs out-competed other animals of their era, but they lost the battle to survive the effects of the asteroid impact.

6. Myth Six

The Myth: All dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago

Birds evolved about 150 million years ago. Most experts believe they evolved from small predatory dinosaurs, which would classify them as dinosaurs according to modern methods of grouping animals. These avian dinosaurs probably suffered some losses after the asteroid impact, but they soon rebounded.

7. Myth Seven

The Myth: Dinosaurs were slow and sluggish animals

Early paleontologists thought dinosaurs must have been slow and sluggish to have lost the “evolutionary race” to birds and mammals. Modern studies find no sign that they were laggards, lazily dragging their tails behind them.

Most dinosaurs were probably as mobile as large, modern mammals. Like lions, meat-eating dinosaurs were active predators that probably lay down and rested after eating their fill.

One study in 2000 of an exceptionally well-preserved hadrosaur fossil, found in a South Dakota riverbed, suggested that dinosaurs had powerful hearts more like those of birds or mammals than modern reptiles. Researchers argue that the fossilized, four-chambered heart points to an active, bird-like metabolism.

8. Myth Eight

The Myth: All large land reptiles from prehistoric times were dinosaurs

Terrestrial reptiles reached 5 metres in length before the first dinosaurs evolved 230 million years ago. Some – such as sail-backed Dimetrodon, which flourished in North America during the Permian period (290 to 240 million years ago) – were related to dinosaurs, but were not true dinosaurs.

9. Myth Nine

The Myth: Marine reptiles – for example, plesiosaurs and ichthyosaurs – were dinosaurs

Several types of marine reptiles evolved during the dinosaur age, but all true dinosaurs were terrestrial animals. Marine crocodiles, like other crocodiles, were closely related to the dinosaurs and so were large, extinct marine reptiles called plesiosaurs, pliosaurs, mosasaurs and ichthyosaurs.

10. Myth Ten

The Myth: Flying reptiles were dinosaurs

Flying reptiles called pterosaurs first appeared just after the dinosaurs, and then died out at the same time as the dinosaurs. The largest grew to the size of a small airplane. However, while they were close relatives, they were not true dinosaurs.

Source: New Scientist

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Top 10 Misconceptions About Islam

In the words of Swiss journalist and author, Roger Du Pasquier “The West, whether Christian or dechristianised, has never really known Islam. Ever since they watched it appear on the world stage, Christians never ceased to insult and slander it in order to find justification for waging war on it. It has been subjected to grotesque distortions the traces of which still endure in the European mind. Even today there are many Westerners for whom Islam can be reduced to three ideas: fanaticism, fatalism and polygamy. Of course, there does exist a more cultivated public whose ideas about Islam are less deformed; there are still precious few who know that the word islam signifies nothing other than ‘submission to God’. One symptom of this ignorance is the fact that in the imagination of most Europeans, Allah refers to the divinity of the Muslims, not the God of the Christians and Jews; they are all surprised to hear, when one takes the trouble to explain things to them, that ‘Allah’ means ‘God’, and that even Arab Christians know him by no other name. “

10

Muslims are Arabs

Misconception: All Muslims are Arabs

The common image of a Muslim is a turbaned dark Arab man with a long beard. However this image is part of the minority of Muslims. Arabs make only 15% of the world’s Muslim population. As a matter of fact the Middle East comes in third with East Asia coming in at first (69%) and Africa (27%) coming in at second. Another common misconception is that all Arabs are Muslims. While the vast majority of Arabs are Muslims (75%), there are many other religions that Arabs practice including Christianity and Judaism.

9

Muslims and Jesus

Misconception: Muslims Hate Jesus

There are many similarities between the historical references of Christianity and Islam. Many people are amazed to find out that according to Muslim belief, Jesus is one of the greatest messengers of God. One cannot be a Muslim without believing in the virgin birth and the many miracles of Jesus Christ. Jesus is also mentioned in many verses of the Quran and is often used as an example of good virtue and character. However, the main difference between Christianity and Islam is that Muslims do not believe that Jesus was God. Pictured above is Jesus in an Islamic portrayal of the last judgement.

8

Children’s Rights

Misconception: Children have no rights

Children, according to Islamic law, have various rights. One of these is the right to be properly brought up, raised, and educated. Islam encourages children to be brought up well because it is the responsibility of an adult to raise his child to become a moral and ethical adult. Children must also be treated equally. When giving financial gifts they should all be the same amount and there should be no preference among them. Children are even permitted to take moderately from their parent’s wealth to sustain themselves if the parent declines to give them proper funds for living. A child is also not allowed to get hit in the face or hit by anything larger than a pencil.

7

Religious Intolerance

Misconception: Islam is intolerable to other religions

‘Kill the infidel’ is the phrase many people believe is the ideology that Muslims have towards the non Muslims. This, though, is not a correct portrayal of Islamic law. Islam has always given respect and freedom of religion to all faiths. In the Quran it says “God does not forbid you, with regards to those who fight you not for religion nor drive you away out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them, for god loves those who are just.” There are many historical examples of Muslim tolerance towards other faith. One such example was when the caliph Umar was ruler of Jerusalem from 634 to 644 AD. He granted freedom to all religious communities and said that the inhabitants of his city were safe and that their places of worship would never be taken away from them. He also set up courts that were designated to the non Muslim minorities. Whenever he would visit holy areas he would ask for the Christian patriarch Sophronius (pictured above) to accompany him.

6

Islamic Jihad

Misconception: Jihad means to fight for the sake of god

The true Arabic meaning of the word jihad is struggle. However in Islam it is often used to describe the striving in the way of god. There are many forms of jihad but the most important ones are Jihad al-nafs (jihad against ones self), jihad bil-lisan (jihad by being vocal), jihad bil yad (jihad by using action), and Jihad bis saif (jihad by using the sword). Each jihad is ranked differently and it was reported that Muhammad returned from a battle and said “We have returned from the lesser jihad (going into battle) to the greater jihad (the struggle of the soul).” This means that a Muslim struggling against himself and his soul is more important than the jihad of going into war. Another misconception is that only when a person dies in war does that person becomes a martyr. This is, however, false and it is believed that anyone doing anything for the sake of god and is killed becomes a martyr. A person who dies while performing pilgrimage in Mecca, a woman who dies while giving birth, or even someone who dies in a car crash while he was on his way to the mosque are all considered martyrs.

5
Child Bride

Misconception: The Prophet Muhammad was a pedophile

While it is true that he married a girl that was at the age of nine that does not constitute pedophilia. Historically, the age at which a girl was considered ready to be married has been puberty. This was the case in Biblical times, and is still used today to determine the age of marriage in many parts of the world. This was part of the norm and is not something that Islam invented. The girl he got married to had reached puberty 3 years before marriage. It is upon reaching the age of puberty that a person, man or woman, becomes legally responsible for their actions under Islamic law. At this point, they are allowed to make their own decisions and are held accountable for their actions. It should also be mentioned that in Islam, it is unlawful to force someone to marry someone that they do not want to marry. There is no indication that the society at that time criticized this marriage due to the girl’s young age. On the contrary, the marriage was encouraged by the girl’s family and was welcomed by the community at large.

4

Muslim Savages

Misconception: Muslims are savages and barbaric during war

Quite the contrary, when it comes to the conduct of war there are ten rules that every Muslim army must obey:

1. Do not commit treachery
2. Do not deviate from the right path
3. Do not mutilate dead bodies
4. Do not kill children
5. Do not kill women
6. Do not kill aged men
7. Do not harm or burn trees
8. Do not destroy buildings
9. Do not destroy an enemy’s flock, unless you use it for your food
10. When you pass people who have devoted their lives to monastic services leave them alone

During the crusades when Saladin defeated the franks he honored the defeated Frankish army and supplied them with food and during the third crusade when Saladin’s enemy king Richard fell sick, Saladin sent him a gift of fruits and horses.

3

Women’s Rights

Misconception: Women have no rights

The image of a woman wearing a veil from head to toe, a woman who gets unfair justice or a woman who is not allowed to drive is an all too familiar notion when it comes to women treatment in Islam. And while there are Muslim countries in the world that do implement many harsh rulings against women, this should not be portrayed as Islamic law. Many of these countries have cultural differences that go against the teachings of Islam. It should be noted that during pre-Islam Arabia women were used for fornication only and had no independence. The birth of a daughter in a family was considered humiliating and the practice of female infanticide was uncontrolled. When Islam came to being, verses in the Quran condemned the practice of female infanticide. Islam gave back many human rights to the woman and Muhammad(s) was even reported saying that “women are the twin halves of men.” A Muslim woman is allowed to reject and accept any suitor for marriage and has the right to seek divorce. There is nothing in Islam that forbids a Muslim woman from exiting her house and is allowed to drive. Also in regards to education, a woman is obligated to seek knowledge and it is considered a sin if she refuses.

2

By the Sword

Misconception: Islam was spread by the sword

Historian De lacey O’Leary states “History makes it clear however, that the legend of fanatical Muslims sweeping through the world and forcing Islam at the point of the sword upon conquered races is one of the most fantastically absurd myths that historians have ever repeated.” There is no record in history that shows people being forced by sword point to convert to Islam. When Islam spread through countries they would set up private churches and synagogues for the non Muslims they were governing and because of the good treatment they had received they themselves would convert. If one considers the small number of Muslims who initially spread Islam to the west all the way from Spain and Morocco and into east from India and China one would realize that such a small group of people could not force others to be members of a religion against their will. It is also interesting to note that when the Mongols invaded and conquered large portions of the Islamic empire, instead of destroying the religion they adopted it!

1

Islamic Terrorism

Misconception: Muslims are terrorists

This is by far the biggest misconception of Islam, given unfairly by stereotyping and the public image that the media gives. Has anyone else noticed how when a specific group of people attack another group of people it is labeled as a ‘hate crime’, but when a Muslim opens fire on anybody it is quickly regarded as ‘terrorism’. Many political dictators and officials or extremist groups use the name of Islam as a strategy to garner followers and attention when many of their practices go against the true basis of Islam. The media has also portrayed Islam as a cult or a club where if you join you become a terrorist and that is now part of your agenda. However all over the world people practice Islam in the true form and use it as a way of life. There are many verses in the Quran that go against the idea of terrorism. Some of these verses include “fight in the way of Allah those that fight you but do not transgress limits for god does not love transgressors.” This basically means do not fight except in self defense and even in doing so do not go beyond defense. Another verse states “if they seek peace, then you seek peace,” which means do not attack people for no reason or kill innocent people. There is nowhere in Islam, whether it be in the Quran or the teachings of Muhammad, that promotes the killing of innocent people. Pictured above is a conference of Muslims against Terrorism.

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