Another 10 Bizarre (And Stupid) Patents

Some time ago we did a list of the 15 most bizarre patents. Fortunately for us, there are millions of them around – so we have put together another list! These are all patented in the US patent office (some of the original list of 15 were international patents) but we don’t mean that to be a reflection on the quality of American inventors! So, without further ado, here are 10 more bizarre (and stupid) patents:

10

Toilet Lid Lock

US Patent 3477070

This patent from 1968 is designed to help people who, for some unknown reason, might need to place a lock upon their toilet seat. I have spent a considerable amount of time trying to work out who might use this device – and, frankly, the only thing I can come up with is that perhaps it could be used to punish men who forget to put the toilet seat down. The inventor is a woman – which gives weight to my conclusion. Forgetful men should be thankful that no one has actually tried to build this device!

9

Recirculating Toilet

US Patent 3593345

Sticking to the topic at hand, we have another toilet patent – this one is no more practical than the one above, and is actually quite revolting. This is a patent for a toilet which recycles its water with each flush – via a filter. Yes – it strains out the chunky bits and sends back the yellow! Thanks, but no thanks.

8

Deer Carcass Sled Cum Chaise Longue

US Patent 3580592

From the patent: “The invention provides a device for conveying a game-animal carcass that has a lightweight, foldable frame. Means are provided for attaching ground-contacting members to the frame; these members may be either runners or wheels. Preferably, the structure is such that the ground-contacting members can be folded inwardly, for the sake of compactness. Attached or attachable to the frame is a harness, enabling it, when folded, to be strapped to a hunter’s back. The structure of the invention further comprises a back member that can be attached to the frame to form a chaise lounge or the like.” Basically, this is a device that can be used to carry a dead animal, and then converted to a sofa for your living room. Handy!

7

Eyeglasses With Built-In Rear-View Mirrors

US Patent 3423150

I can think of only one person that might find this patent useful – Maxwell Smart. This patent is for eyeglasses that are fitted with rear-view mirrors – so you can see in front of you – and behind you!

6

Fluid Operated Zipper

US Patent 3517423

This is a patent for a fluid operated zipper. The image for the patent (it contains no description) does not seem to indicate where the “fluid” comes from – but I sure know where I hope it doesn’t come from.

5

Power-Operated Pool Cue

US Patent 3495826

Here is one for the cheats among us. This is a full power-drive pool cue. I am not a pool player – but how can this help you to improve your game?

4

Carry All Hat

US Patent 3496575

This is a patent for a patently ugly hat that not only contains a space to carry your cosmetics, keys, and assorted other things that ladies carry in their purses, but it also has ear muffs. This would be perfect for the young lady who likes nightclubbing in winter but doesn’t want to carry a purse. It may hinder your chances of getting a date, but at least your hands are free to carry extra drinks.

3

Firearm With Whisky Glass Attachment

US Patent 3450403

I don’t have a problem with guns – in fact I quite like them, but adding a whisky glass to the top of a rifle is a recipe for disaster. In fact, I can’t help but wonder if Dick Cheney might have been testing one of these out when he was hunting with Harry Whittington in 2006.

2

Electronic Snore Stopper

US Patent 3480010

Snoring is one of nature’s most annoying gifts to man. If you snore – it can wake you up – if you sleep next to a snorer – it can wake you up. Some people even die of snoring! So, some bright spark came up with this design. It works by shooting electricity in to a person as soon as it detects a snore. The concept is bad enough as it is – but look at where the device sits! Imagine being woken up every 10 minutes by jolts of electricity passing through your neck!

1

Baby Patting Machine

US Patent 3552388

The number one device on the list is a machine which gently pats a baby on the bottom to help it get to sleep (particularly useful for lazy parents or parents who like to lock their kids at home while they go out for a drink of an evening). But – while the idea as presented is not the best, it has potential… If the device could be sped up a little – this would be perfect for the parent of a little brat that needs regular and frequent doses of a good spanking! Tie the kid down, stick on the spanking machine, and you can relax in front of tele!